The Diary of a #DeviousMegaSlut by @MarcellaTarable

Marcella Tarable

By Marcella Tarable


The Diary of a #DeviousMegaSlut

By Marcella Tarable,
Heavily edited by Eytan Smith


Well it all started out with group foreplay. There was a lot of messing around with different people. I think its hard at that stage to really see who’s good to play with one-on-one.

Eventually, monogamy took hold and a beautiful Lebanese minx whisked me away for herself. We got on famously and the intimacy was unparalleled, but our energies combined didn’t produce the kind of high-octane power I desire in my partnerships.

We’re still close, but now we’re just friends.

Then came along the Jewish copywriter. A mutt-stallion: Israeli passion combined with English decorum. We connected on an intense level, providing the emotional support vital for long-term partners, but the creativity was absent. We parted ways forgiving each others’ performances, knowing it was due to our fragile mental states.

Rebooted from the christmas break, I decided to try someone completely different from the exotic types I normally go for.

Instead, I started dating an English gentleman.

He was sweet and kind. We played together beautifully. He quietly burrowed into my heart with his gentle character, the complete opposite of my own.

We fell in love.

My passion was at its peak and we were happy, for a time.

It was around Valentines day that things started to change. A Swedish femme fatale came into my life and inspired me. I couldn’t believe her intense work ethic, or the organic, natural flow of creativity that glided from her lips.

But our affair was brief.

I returned to my gentleman, she returned to be with one of her people: another nord.

In the arms of my man, it seemed the right time to settle down so we got engaged. But our passion burnt out; it came from nowhere.

The break-up was traumatic, to this day we still dispute custody of our sharpies.

They’re mine: get over it.

But we both moved on and I wish nothing but the best for you.

I started listening to a lot of Adele around this time.

Everyone told me the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. So I started dating a cheeky London lad. He was funny, bold and self-assured. But we quickly parted ways due to artistic differences.

That’s all I have to say about that.

At this point, I felt it was the time to return to the familiar. Reuniting to an early ex, the mutt-stallion, I entered the relationship with trepidation. We didn’t work before, so why would it work now? I decided to throw myself at him anyway, and it proved worthwhile. We get on like a house on fire, but more than before: there’s a creative spark between us, fanned by the flames of our common humour. We laugh the loudest in the whole office, stripping the title from the ladettes: Georgia and Clarissa.

It seemed simple until another ex came running back too. The swede wanted a piece of me too, and I just couldn’t ignore the flames of our past.

So now, I’m caught in a tug of war between a stallion and a swede.

Honestly, I love it.

Afterall, I am a #DeviousMegaSlut.

But I know making the decision will be near impossible.

Whatever I decide, it will work out.

This casting call for international lovers plays out like a bad porno, but hey, at least its still fun.

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