The Tale of Ca’aroj and Ihausttyr the Unsullied

Two humans walk into a bar…

And have the time of their lives.

The humans were but lowly advertising students, on a quest to discover the fantasy tabletop role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons for something they referred to as a ‘brief’.

They soon found themselves transformed. The one known as Jodie morphed into a Githyanki Warlock by the name of Ca’aroj. He who went by the name Charlie became a Dragonborn Paladin called Ihausttyr the Unsullied.

The two brave souls were in unfamiliar territory, surrounded by creatures who clearly were comfortable in such a setting. Yes, Ca’aroj and Ihausttyr felt intimidated at their lack of experience, yet strangely they felt accepted amongst such a motley crew.

And into the depths they went, embarking on a quest that would ultimately change their entire lives. For bad and for good.

Our two heroes entered into a new world, finding themselves being transported via carriage into an unknown town, accompanied by four strangers. Upon departing the carriage, this group was prompted to enter a tavern. While five of the group acted upon this prompt unquestioningly, Ca’aroj felt the need to steal their escort’s horse. This seemed like an extremely pointless thing to do that had absolutely no bearing on their journey whatsoever, but she was determined nonetheless. Of course, she failed in this pursuit, as it was really stupid and clearly off-script. Or off-world, I mean.

The group spent the night in said tavern, passing time as they pleased. Ihausttyr did totally normal things like having a drink and hanging out. Ca’aroj continued to be weird and annoying, incessantly talking about wanting a horse. Eventually, they were informed of a quest to capture a jewel hidden in the depths of a cave outside of town. While five of the courageous figures accepted the reward of 200 gold, Ca’aroj demanded a horse as compensation.

While fearful of the task ahead, the crew embarked on this test, ready to prove to each other and themselves what they were truly made of. While meandering through the dark and damp cave, they encountered their first challenge: a bear! Oh no!

However, they proved the value of teamwork and defeated the beast with relative ease. One might say it was totally badass.

As they ventured on, they confronted more obstacles: a horde of zombie rat things, another horde of evil tree things, a riddle on a door, and finally a whirlpool thing that swallowed and sent them down into another level of the cave. A treacherous journey indeed.

In this new level, the group found a frog. But no, not a normal frog. This frog was HOLDING THE VERY JEWEL THEY SOUGHT OUT.

They had to do another riddle-y type thing and then got the jewel pretty easily. A water portal was opened into which the frog jumped, claiming it was going home. Ihausttyr thought that seemed pretty anti-climactic and couldn’t possibly believe that the quest ended that easily, so he followed the frog into the portal where he died a very long and drawn-out death. It was quite depressing as very few people die in such a game. I mean, world.

The remaining heroes found their way back to the tavern to collect their reward, which was also pretty anti-climactic. And no one seemed to give a fuck about Ihausttyr’s death. And also Ca’aroj was a fucking idiot because the horse only cost 100 gold, so she could’ve taken the 200 gold reward and still bought her dumb fucking horse.

The end.


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