Its the end of the world as we know it…. – By @DJayDancer1

By Daniel Johnson


Its the end of the world as we know it….


The toilet paper companies made billions in the wake of the coronavirus panic. 


Their take over was swift. It all happened so quickly. 


Every day was like black Friday, if you couldn’t fight, you couldn’t eat.  


I have a few kills to my name, everyone does. Even children. 


I remember showing my 7-year-old cousin how to use a knife. 


Cleanup on aisle 3 has new meaning these days.



The only things that thrived were the toilet roll companies and Pornhub. 


Pornhubs takeover began slowly, with small things like tax breaks.


Then Trump and Boris loosened up laws on advertising adult content in public spaces. 


Suddenly the streets were aflood with images of bukkake. 


Pornography single-handedly kept the advertising industry afloat. 


What was left of the sciences struggled to find funding. The only research that remains is funded by Pornhub. 


Neil deGrasse Tyson, a once great and popular scientist spent his life pondering the questions of the galaxy. 


Now he’s reduced to quantitative research on fapping. 


Meanwhile, Andrex decided to take up not one but 5 ails in the supermarket. 


Slowly but surely, we were forced to choose between stink butt and food.


Tough choice.


On the bright side, wiping has proven an effective diet. 


They wiped out the other toilet roll companies pretty quickly. They rule through intimidation.


Those cute puppies they put on the packaging are a facade. 


They are actually horrific gene-modified beasts. 


Engineered to look as cute as possible. I still have nightmares of them mauling my best friend to death. 


Its dark, and desolate times. 


The worst is over though. 


They committed a lot of atrocities, they are undoubtedly criminals. 


But to be honest, we only survived because of the Andrex – Hub group. 


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