Wanna Know How I Got This Lamborghini? By @Joebee731

By Joe Colquhoun


Wanna Know How I Got This Lamborghini?


With only $47 dollars left in his bank account Tai sighed.

He slouched back into the sofa of his mother’s crappy mobile home and looked up.

How was he ever going to make any money?

He had no formal training and had dropped out of college earlier that year.

He was fucked.


He remembered his mother’s stories of his once successful grandfather.

He was a scientist and the smartest man either of them knew.

Later that day he wrote him a letter filled with life’s most important questions.


How can I be happy?

Is there a God?

If so, which one?

What’s the point of it all?

Do I want to be a millionaire?

What’s a Lamborghini?


A week later, his Grandfather replied.

He didn’t have the answers Tai was looking for.

No one man could possibly have such knowledge.

However, with the letter he received 10 of his grandfathers most treasured books.

He pored over them, soaking in every page, eager to learn more.

Soon he understood that the only way to be successful was to continue learning.


His mother at work and his father in prison, he desperately needed a mentor.

He’d read all the books he could get his hands on, but there was more to learn.

So, for the first time, Tai Lopez devised a plan.

He left his shitty trailer park in Carolina and moved to Indiana, to live with the Amish.


During the two years, Tai became a student under a man named Joel Salatin.

An American farmer turned lecturer and author.

He quickly retreated into a simpler, more Amish way of life.

He read books, tended to the cattle and began finding the answers he’d been looking for.


But, Tai’s journey had only just begun.

After leaving, he became the student of five more mentors.

A year later, following a lucky break working in financial insurance, he started his own company.

Elite Global Dating, LLC.

The company owned over 12 separate dating websites, each one as shady as the next.


“After checking my VISA statement, I noticed that they had charged me over $200 for a monthly membership fee that I had not authorised.”


“It’s not only scam but real FRAUD!”


Regardless of the morality, Tai had learnt something important along the way.

“if you don’t know who the sucker is, you’re the sucker.”

With the money he’d made so far he had no plans on slowing down.

He was determined to become a millionaire.

In order to do so, he had to go viral.

He had to be everywhere, and he was no sucker.


His first step to fame, rent a mansion in the Hollywood hills.

Next step, rent a Lamborghini.

Third, recite an inspirational speech about wealth, success and knowledge whilst in ‘his’ garage.

In front of ‘his’ Lamborghini, and ‘his’ sprawling bookshelf.


Tai Lopez disguised himself as a multi-millionaire.

He offered something more valuable than a Lamborghini or a house in the hills.

He was offering knowledge.

Knowledge that promised to make anyone rich, beyond their wildest dreams.

All they had to do was sign up for his book and follow his 67 simple steps.


Of course, to get the ball rolling he bought ad space and a ton of fake youtube views.

He spent upwards of $50,000 buying his way to our computer screens.

He became his own meme.

“Here in my Garage just bought this new Lamborghini here…”

The first three seconds of any youtube video started with Tai’s sweaty face.


As of today that video has 69 million views.

Tai Lopez has written and sold multiple books.

He has spoken at Ted-X and at many other venues.

He has over 250,000 hopeful people signed up to his monthly newsletter.


So he’d done it.

He’d become a millionaire.


He’d sold desperate people like himself a false promise with a lot of fine print.

He’d convinced people to buy into him and his recycled knowledge, only to charge them extortionate amounts of money at the end of the month.


He’d sold a dream of becoming a millionaire and in the process became a millionaire himself.

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