What do you make of an inspiring talk centred on using your brand to speak out about social issues, when Steve Harrison reveals that consumers couldn’t care less? 

What about if that talk was by the person in charge of the coolest brand in the world, Ben & Jerry’s? 

It’s a dilemma. For starters, I’ve always loved how socially engaged Ben & Jerry’s is. On the other hand, I also concede that I’ve never loved it as much as their chocolate fudge brownie. 

With that in mind, I have no other choice but to dedicate the rest of this SCAB to an official ranking of the best B&J flavours of all time. 

Best for texture: Phish Food. 

The name is genius. What is a phish? I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s delicious. 

Masterful balance of soft cream blended with chewy marshmallow, fudge and caramel chunks make this more like a cake in a tub. I think the ratio is different for each product so I also appreciate the randomness. 

Most surprising: Strawberry Cheese Cake 

I was reluctant to try it at first. Why would anyone buy a fruity Ben & Jerry’s ice cream? Try it. It’s got bits of salted biscuit in there. It’s like the Willy Wonka of ice creams. It’s a whole meal. There’s no way the strawberries ever came from a bush. Or maybe they did. Like a magical bush at the top of a sugary mountain. 

Timeless classic: Cookie Dough 

You can’t say you’re a Ben & Jerries fan if you haven’t tried their cookie dough flavour. I don’t know how they make it, is it raw batter? It can’t be, but it feels just as naughty as the real deal. It’s like Stracciatella’s sassy sister. Pro tip: wait until it melts a little and then add some crushed digestive biscuits on top. 

Best combination ice cream: Half Baked 

Why settle for one flavour when you can have two? I rest my case. 

Best name: Americone Dream 

I like the self-referential nod there. I like the portmanteau of American and cone. It’s got waffles thereby making the ice cream the main meal. Justice for ice cream scoops tossed to the side of dessert plates! 

Best use of nuts: Chunky Monkey

Is there a real reason why it’s called monkey? No. There are no monkeys in this ice cream. What this ice cream has is a fantastic use of walnuts. Oh ok, now I remember it also has bananas. I get the monkey reference now. Cute. Usually, I would never go for a banana ice cream but they nailed it with this one. Scrumptious. 

Best in Show: Chocolate Fudge Brownie  

Okay, I gave it away a little bit in the preamble. What bad things could I say about Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate fudge brownie? None. It’s perfect. The chewy brownie makes love to the chocolate cream and they dance a dance of a million sweet things. You get to properly bite the ice cream with your teeth but it’s a melt in your mouth moment. Sensational. 

Ben, Jerry, wherever you are: I guess now you know where I stand. Keep doing you but for the love of all that is good in the world, never stop making your ice cream.

@loti___dl