Your February Horoscope
It’s officially the 1st of February, so you know what that means… It’s horoscope time babyy! I’ve never studied astrology, nor have I ever been able to predict my own life but hey I could use a new hobby, so let’s give this a try.
Disclaimer: don’t sue me if any of these predictions are inaccurate or even accurate for that matter. I’m no copywriter and am only just learning how to read
– the stars.
This month in a nutshell according to google:
This month starts with a powerful full moon in Leo on February the 5th, making us all passionate about the things and people we love most. Sounds like the perfect day to plan some Valentine’s day dates, just in time to then be rejected or have to cancel because we have no time for people or life outside of SCA.
Mercury moves into Aquarius on February 11, bringing clarity and insight from a fresh perspective. Yayy great day to kill all of our initial D&AD babies and insights!
The sun then enters Pisces on February 18, heightening our intuition, creativity, and imagination. Sounds like a perfect day to craft some case study videos.
February 20 brings the Pisces new moon and Venusian shift into Aries, making it a special day to implement our goals and objectives — also, to celebrate life – that is if we’re still breathing.
Aries – March 21-April 19
All the planetary changes occurring this month are softening your heart — Aww you softy! Not your passions though, apparently they are still burning with longing and lust, that is if you still are aware of any other passions outside of advertising. With the fiery full moon in Leo heating up the romance sector of your chart on February 5, you’ll want to have a long cuddle sesh with the person you adore, if you have anyone you adore, otherwise I could use a cuddle after being whipped all week so just hmu. A week later, Mercury’s entrance into Aquarius cools down your desirous nature and makes you act extremely aloof. Basically making you a d*ck to be around. The new moon in Pisces, which occurs on February 20, adds a docile entergy to your heart and makes you have a sweet and sympathetic temperament. God this month really is full of mood swings isn’t it? Venus’s alignment with your sun on February 20 offers a vibrant start to a romantic vision that can last years or a lifetime – lucky you! Don’t make the wrong choice and be stuck with someone for the next decade – unless she’s me, than yes great choice.
Taurus – April 20-May 20
You are brooding emotion incarnate this month – Damn, I guess you and Aries are cycle sisters this February. One minute you’re up, then your down, and the next you’ve shot your favorite partner in the kneecaps, “just ‘cuz.”. You’re feeling very earthy, according to the planetary changes. Maybe it was just the environmental brief, but either way according to google, you won’t feel the need to shower as often as most people this February. The new moon in Pisces on February 20 will make you feel practical and persistent. You will manage to dogge the determination to work like hell. Most people will think you are stubborn and bull-headed. But really, you’re nothing more than a sleep deprived, moody, SCA student just searching for anything to make yourself feel normal again.
Gemini – May 21-June 20
The month ahead gives you the chance to get your personal affairs in order (just in time for V-Day, yay!). Apparently you’re the ultimate chatty Cathy this month! – You tend to speak very loudly in order to be heard. This will seem to be unfortunate as you apparently nearly always like talking to yourself. In fact, you often pick animated arguments with yourself in the bathtub, so maybe this month you won’t be alone (in your bathtub? Idk. do you even own a bath?) With your wit and silver tongue, and Mercury moving into Aquarius, you’ll be able to talk your way out of anything. – let me know how that works out for you. Just be mindful of talking too much and not letting anyone else get a word in edgewise, or risk being banned from all future dinner parties. – which honestly may be a good thing because at least you won’t have to cancel due to your workload.
Cancer – June 21-July 22
February kicks off with an intense full moon that pushes you to take a real look at your finances. You might be broke, or you may just be running low on SCA points coming up to D&AD – either way you’re totally f*cked. You usually like to know what’s going on in the lives of everyone in the galaxy. However, you tend not know know what’s going on in your own, that’s definitely showing this month. Time to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself some questions. But hey likewise, apparently, you can stretch one pair of underwear out for almost a month. That saves you a lot of time and extra laundry pods. Maybe that’s a successful way to save up.
Leo – July 23-August 22
Your false sense of security may cause inner anxieties to surface, while issues within private matters are revealed with the onset of February 5’s full moon. Don’t go kissing too many mirrors to make yourself feel better. While you may want to hide away in your personal world during the new moon, this month is calling for you to stand up and fight back. Your inner strength will be tested. Hang posters of yourself on the walls, you got this Leo!
Virgo – August 23-September 22
You are a pain in the ass to be around this month. You’ll regulate your breathing out loud and color-coordinate the clothes in your closet just to annoy the ones around you. On the bright side, February 20’s new moon is giving you a chance to see through superficialities within relationships. Maybe you’ll notice that you’re the superficial one, and thats okay too. It’s all about personal growth. This month will be exposing many harsh truths for you, and now you’ll be deciding how to implement the knowledge you have recently gained. Even though you may be a hard person to be around, things will fall into place going into March. You may even be able to figure out who your true match at SCA really is.
Libra – September 23-October 22
Balance is your middle name this month, Libra. With your steady hand and diplomatic touch, you’ll be able to handle any situation with ease. Just be wary of being indecisive and not making a choice when the time is right, or risk becoming known as the SCA’s most boring person. Even though you usually consult your therapist or TV Guide for your issues, this month with February 20’s new moon, you can count on your own intuition and gut. That’s a first!
Scorpio October 23-November 21
Intensity is your jam, Scorpio! You got into school early so you could use made-up, bulls**t terminology and get away with it. Use your power and determination to achieve your goals. Just be careful not to become too controlling and start bossing everyone around like a drill sergeant, nobody likes a d*ck.
Sagittarius – November 22-December 21
Sagittarians are born adventurers. You like smashing spiders with your bare hands and trying to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night with the lights out. This side of you will be highlighted this month. Do be careful because being too out there can cause arguments and frustrations. This can cause rifts with others during February 5’s full moon. Hold yourself back this month, don’t be too reckless and start performing stunt bike jumps over open manholes. You’re gonna get hurt. Or worse, you’ll die.
Capricorn – December 22-January 19
Capricorns are apparently known to be hardworking, reliable, and dull as hell. That may work in your favor this month as agronomy is telling me that people are going to want to be copying your ideas and passing them off as their own. Be dull. Don’t be fun. Best ideas are made when you’re having fun, and this month you don’t want people stealing them (especially this close to D&AD). Keep your fun cards close to your chest, and then wow the mentors around you later down the line.
Aquarius – Jan 20-Feb 18
We all know that the Aquarius loves a party. Anytime, anywhere is your motto. However, February is allowing you to get a lot clearer about what you want and how you wish to get it. This may cause you to have to miss a party or two and sit with yourself in order to take a deep look from within. It’ll pay off. February is the month to let your weird flag fly high. With your bizarre ideas reaching new heights, you’ll have a blast coming up with strange and peculiar solutions to life’s problems and SCA briefs. Just make sure to keep a straight face when people stare at you in confusion.
Pisces – Feb 19-March 20
(The best star sign in my opinion – I’m not biased at all, I promise)
You’ll be feeling extra dreamy this month, especially with the full moon showing itself on Feb 5th. Don’t get lost in your own thoughts. Snap back to reality before you start talking to the fish in your aquarium. Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy will ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny, but basically your life is a walking joke at this point. (hey thats actually pretty accurate). While this month holds a beginning to new career heights brought forth by the new moon that aligns with your sun sign and Venus’s movement into the financial sector of your chart on February 20, you can expect that this month will be a turning point that allows you to bring new prosperity into your grasp. Whatever that means. Either way, you got some good things coming for you little fish. (manifestation baby)
Anyway that’s a wrap on this months reading.
Until next time- (probably not in horoscope form though because this was absolute shambles.)
Reader of the stars