By Aaron Furman

 

A goth watching My Little Pony – the story of mood swings.

 

Disclaimer: This SCAB started as a stream of consciousness. I then went back to continue my effort and found my mood shifting. These short bursts of peaks and troughs are plenty at the SCA. Enjoy my random musings.

I’ll cry again,

wallow in self-pity,

that’s easier than facing it.

I want to be better,

so much better,

I’m sick of being sad,

I’m sick of being tired.

I find myself not wanting to get out of bed.

I find myself battling to take my first step of the day.

I find myself pressing snooze.

I find myself pressing snooze.

I find myself pressing snooze.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Fucking why? Why me? Why me? Why me?

Why not me? Why am I? Why am I not getting it? Why are they? Why is that shit? Why is that good?

I’ve been lost for a time now. Opinion-less, unsure and questioning of my beliefs but praise the lord (Rory Sutherland) I think I’m back.

I forgot my base, my default persona in which my character is built upon – silliness.

Making a joke out of any situation. Being on the lighter side of life for the pleasure of cutting through societal normalities.

I like to question societal normalities.

The world is full of macabre individuals. I like the see myself as a counterbalance. It’s overrated to try and be the most logical in the room.

I remember sitting in a high powered business meeting involving insurance brokerage (must of been a hoot). I cracked a little joke and the room went into a meltdown, a shroud of disgust enveloped the suits. Needless to say, I wasn’t going to pursue this line of work.

Some things I like to do:

Dancing in public with my headphones on.

Touching someone’s hand when they pass me on the escalator.

Staring at strangers in the lift.

Laughing when someone says do do.

Asking for a bottle of ketchup at a restaurant instead of a taster.

Scrounging for cigarettes in the pub.

Opening a muller corner without the yogurt getting on the wrapper (that’s true satisfaction).

Playing chess with my friend max.

Playing poker with my friends I grew up with.

Watching unboxing videos.

Here at the SCA, we’re all a little bit strange. I’d like to think I’m on the upper echelons of the meter but boy is there competition.