SCABs

Being pissed off in 2019 – By @alfsuit

By Alfie Souter

 

Being pissed off in 2019

 

Right so my first uploading of this SCAB was rejected so I’m going to try make it more PC in the hope my wisdom will see the daylight. When thinking of something to write about for a SCAB I decided to just go for something that made me feel passionate so here goes. While I was at the Edinburgh fringe I realised something. These days perhaps because the slow degradation of society has somewhat reached a climax this year, people love to use ‘2019’ in a sentence. Throwing 2019 into a sentence seemingly gives it an innate power. People use it as a joke e.g. ‘its 2019 the pc brigade says you can’t get away with jokes about Emma Watson’. Apparently, it gives such a deep emphasis to a sentence that it causes comedians to just throw it in willy nilly.

 

A brief side point one comedian made the hilarious joke – ‘I’m not going to just throw out dick jokes willy willy’, which I and 40 or so other people thought was hilarious before you start judging my maturity levels. 

 

2019 obviously is meant to be a statement of the modern age. As a friend of a friend would so heinously by starting every sentence with something along the lines of ‘dating in 2019’. These people need to get over themselves in my opinion. I really don’t see the relevance of the phrase. These issues climate change, political unrest, Brexit, things like tinder and other blites on our society have been going on for years the world has been going to the dogs way before 2019. So let’s leave 2019 out of it shall we? I don’t see why these people think there so profound by being like ah its 2019, ‘thanks mate I actually forgot what year it was until you so graciously reminded me.’ 

 

These same people love to say things like ‘ah I’m just living my best life.’ Christ. Surely this is just the point of living. I don’t think anyone thinks, actually today I want to live my worst life possible. I’m going to burn all my possessions then go running through the streets smearing dog shite on myself while I ring up my friends and destroy all my personal relationships. 

 

Anyway, I thankfully rarely encounter this kind of activity because I no longer participate in social media. Yeah I update my profile picture every now and then and have recently taken to flicking through the tasty SCABS that appear on my feed, I’m not a complete savage. But I do feel like my distance and distain for social media is a problem. How am I meant to sell to people at large when I have essentially fallen out of contact with them. And now that so much of advertising is on ‘social’ as its branded I feel like I am hamstringing part of the advantage of being young in an ad agency: actually understanding how to use and reach people through this medium. Another comedian excellently put it, ‘I stopped using social media because I hated it. Then I realise I didn’t hate social media I just hate people. No one hates the jar of marmite.’ 

 

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