SCABs

Emoji, You Makey Me Crazy by @G_Horrocks

georgia horrocks

By Georgia Horrocks

 

Emoji, You Makey Me Crazy

 

Last week, I joyfully downloaded an app called ‘Text a Taco’. With five different tacos to text, it was the best 79 pence I’ve ever spent. 

 

A few nail-biting seconds whilst it downloaded and then I was off into a taco frenzy. Ah, how I imagined Frazer’s face lighting up with joy at that little taco! I bet Lawrence would like that fish one. Clarissa would have the chicken. Oh, would life ever be the same? 

 

I was half way through my hit list when Alex Pugh replied. In the interests of keeping this SCAB Grandma-friendly I won’t relay the text verbatim. But let’s just say that ‘eating taco’ is code for eating something else.

 

This little faux-pas is just the tip of the ice berg. My mum texted me on the train saying ‘Sorry I didn’t say goodbye’ followed by the crying with laughter emoji. For about a minute, I was actually quite hurt. 

 

This is the danger with those cute, miniature pictures. How could one small, yellow face express the heart-breaking pain and guilt of not having said goodbye to your favourite daughter. 

 

Of course, I’m implicating myself in this too. I’ve been emoji-ing for a few months now. It started, as most bad habits do, under the guise of irony. 

 

But here we are, Post Irony and these little nail-painting, chick-hatching, poo-with-faces are threatening to take over our language, and with it our copy-writing careers.

 

Think I’m being melodramatic? Did you know that the most popular ‘word’ of 2014 was the ‘<3’ emoji? Whilst emojis have transcended language barriers a picture isn’t always worth a thousand words. 

 

It’s all become a bit too George Orwell for my liking. So in the interests of my thoughts being more than cute monkey faces, and in the interests of my career, I’m quitting emojis cold turkey. 

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