Filling Up My Cup 

The last few days before half term were a blur. 

In the studio everyone was wiped. I was in a daze. Energy was low. Honey needed a reset. 

This half term couldn’t come at a better time. 

My battery could use a recharge. 

After being violently ill with my head hanging over a toilet for a good two days, I was relieved to still be able to fly back home to Amsterdam for the break.

On Saturday I packed my bag, trekked my way to Stansted, only for my flight to be delayed for five hours. Yay. 

Stansted airport was packed, there was nowhere to sit. My laptop was out of charge, my phone was on 20%, I had already had dinner on the train, so what did I do?

I stared at my feet for a good four hours. 

It wasn’t a waste of time though. I went into quite a reflective trance. 

I thought about all the things that went well, and thought about all the things I could do better.

I wrote down lists of what I wanted to achieve and how I wanted to come back to SCA. 

I wrote down thoughts about our new portfolio. Thoughts on new partnerships. 

I thought about my short term goals. Manifested my long term goals. 

I thought about what I was feeling, and what I needed to get out of my week off. 

Before I knew it, I was boarding the plane, smuggling my carry-on baggage that was way too large to fit under the seat. but I still managed without paying extra. Big win. 

On the plane I continued writing my lists. I decided that whilst I was back home, I wanted to do at least five things for myself everyday in order to recharge. 

Creatively, physically, mentally, emotionally.

I wanted to feel like a rejuvenated version of me, ready to sprint those final kilometers at SCA.

On my first day back, I woke up early and started the day with some quality time with my sister.

We went and discovered a new coffee place hidden in one of the many hidden side streets in Amsterdam. 

10/10 one of the most underrated coffee places in the city. 

So if you’re ever in town on the lookout for the best, check out: Jones Brothers

In the afternoon, I worked for a couple hours and later sweat out my frustrations at a spinning class. 

This is where I again came to the realization that I have no rhythm. 

I put on the ‘Yeah that’s probably an Ad’ podcast (which I had been wanting to listen to for a while) and began making my way through the city in the evening.

I easily may have walked 30,000 steps this day. 

If you’ve read this far, I’m not going to bore you with all the things I got up to this week. 

But, I can confirm that I did at least five new things everyday. 

I was discovering new coffee places, new gyms, new recipes, new restaurants, new podcasts, new books, new shows, new art exhibitions.

SCA can get extremely busy and overwhelming. 

We don’t often have time to do the things we would like to do outside of school. 

And when we do have the time, I feel like I personally don’t make the most out of it.

I often feel too guilty. 

So rather than just going out and enjoying myself, I stare at the work I feel like I should be doing, yet still sometimes manage not to get as much done as I feel like I could have if I had just gone out. 

This week, I tried to fill my cup with all of the things I felt like I had been missing out on in the last few months. 

Things I felt like I had been deprived of. 

And although I was still running from one place to the next, working a shift most days to earn some money, and prioritizing SCA work for at least 2-3 hours a day, this is the first time in a while that I felt whole again.

I was able to see family and friends. 

I was able to move my body in some way everyday. 

I was able to earn some money. 

I was able to discover new places and try out new things. 

I collected new dots every day. 

And although I worked on school less than I would have if I was back in London, I felt like I was 100% more productive than I would have been If I wasn’t prioritizing the things that made me feel whole. 

Random honorable mentions of newly collected dots this trip:

Anyway, If you ever find yourself in Amsterdam, give me a call. 

I’ve lived here most of my life, yet still find myself discovering something new everytime I’m back home. 

We’re officially entering the last term… Let’s catch some flies, honey. 

Until next time,

Gwen- Jani 


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