I’ve Finally Got The Fear

Katy Edelsten

By Katy Edelsten


I’ve Finally Got The Fear


Actual panic when I see an email from Marc reminding me how many days until we knuckle down and start this leap into Adtown. 14 sleeps, now 13.




I also finally got hold of the bloody iCal on my computer (hey there useful icon I’ve never clicked on!), and I’ve worked out I have all of tomorrow and next Sunday to make my passion project actually work and film it and edit it and then not cringe at it. What happened to all the days in August? Come to think of it what happened in to all the days since I applied to SCA, all wobbily knee’d back in 2013?

I wonder how many books I can listen to in my sleep and truly digest?

I wonder how little sleep a person can get by on for two weeks?

I wonder if my passion project will actually work? (read: it doesn’t right now)

I wonder if I’ll have time to tidy the flat before everyone gets back from holiday?


I once timed myself reading and learnt I can read a page a minute (degrees are so useful!!)

The problem is I have to read a book three times to take any of it in.

As it turns out this year doesn’t start in 14 sleeps it actually starts right now. It actually started last month when I almost crashed my online banking with how many digits I wrote in one transfer. It actually started two years ago when I applied to SCA.

What nonsense did I spout that made Marc think this was a good idea?
Can I blame my younger self yet?

All I have to do between the start and now is; finish the books, finish the passion project, finish two commissions, do 3 days prop sourcing, make a paper mask, remember to say happy birthday to my dad, do a 4 day shoot, shoot a music video, finish an album cover, install a shop window, mend my laptop, learn to drive and then learn how to breathe again.

Maybe I’ll be able to form a proper sentence by then.


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