Goodbye St Matthew’s church – By @isabellelj1

By Isabelle Johnson


Goodbye St Matthew’s church


We’re leaving.


There are mixed emotions and a sense of history in that room that we’re saying goodbye to.


The Krakheads are leaving the Krakheads of St Matthew’s church.


There was a sense of togetherness in that one room. How will this change when we are split up over different floors?


The first thing that is on all of our minds:

What will the new toilets be like?

We’ve only just gotten loos installed and a new shower. The shitting toilets. These beautiful toilets mean you can’t hear the people in the cubicles next to you. It’s perfect when you want a time out after a PB hand in, or when you want to just sit and get away from the other f*ers to shut yourself away and do meditation.


And what about the strange coloured water in the bathrooms?

We will miss the pink water in the toilets. The girls had a period of thinking it down to something they had drunk that was coming out the other end. But it’s not. The water comes out the taps too. Why? We will never get to solve this enigma.


The showers too. We will miss toying with the idea of exercising midway through the day. The committed ones like Tommy appearing in his sports kit half-way through class will now elude us.


Goodbye Krakheads.

As we left comedy on Tuesday, the real Krakheads of Brixton huddled in the corridor. Goodbye to seeing them every day. And we will miss those Krakheads who greet us every morning as we enter the building. The ones who piss outside the front door. Who remind us we’re in Brixton.


We will miss the cold on the bottom floor and the contrasting warmth above. Will we need to sit in our coats inside? Will Gigi still be sitting in a coat every day?


We will miss the only two windows with the only sources of natural light. We will miss the caged windows. We will miss the flickering lighting that makes you feel like you’ve had a headrush.


What will be the staircase situation?

Will Ivan fall up the stairs again? Are there stairs to fall up?


Are there dogs allowed at Pop? Will this mean there will still be dogs humping at the front of class?


We won’t miss the dirty floor which left its mark on all our things.


How will interview day play out? What will happen without the pit?


Will Market House Fridays stay the same?


Will Marc have to walk up multiple floors to scream “five minutes!”?

Related SCABs

Go back

Student Application

  • Fill out the Application Form below to be a part of our next Award-Winning intake.

  • MM slash DD slash YYYY