GROUP SCAB – By HUSH, The SCA Intake of 2018/19

By HUSH, The SCA Intake of 2018/19



Hey guys, please follow the format below. The time followed by your name.

Welcome to the SCA Christmas party. We’ll be live blogging the evening as it unfolds.

17.31 – Andy

The first beers have been uncapped. The boys are currently letting the side down in the dressing up nicely for the Christmas party stakes. Minimal effort has been taken. There’s polite mingling going on. It’s hot in here. Too hot. I’m going to find Marcia and ask her to turn off the aircon.

17.57 – Fraser

Wasn’t sure where I was for a minute. Thumping bass-lines and intense electronica made me think I was in XOYO for a bit. Now we’ve gone for a neo-soul vibe which I’m into, saxophones are christmassy…right?

18.00 – Lucy P

Wearing way too much make-up for my face’s sake. But it’s cool cos I feel cute. Max played some really heavy music earlier and I thought I was in Fabric. People are milling around the kitchen area. Classic party vibes. DJ said he won’t teach me how to body pop and I’m sad.

18.15 – Alexis

Not even two beers, not even 7 in the evening, don’t know if I’m going to leave the school alive.

18:17 – Forrest

I’ve just cracked open no. 3 prior to 6:30 pm… lets hope this party is everything it’s cracked up to be. #Naughty

18:22 – Qlison

Kqrolinq s alcohol is so strong that chqrlene is qlerqdy drqnk with only one shot. ( fuck your fucking keyboqrd)

18:24 – DJ

I need to pee

18:31- TEDJ

Can’t wait to go home and edit reflections until 3am.

18:33 – CHARLENE

Tedj said that he’s gonna humiliate me on his reflection, i’m a little bit stressed and alcohol doesn’t help me…

18:43 – ALEX B

Tedj is filming the action. Disco music is blaring. Everyone’s been blessed by Marta with stick on crystals.

19:04 – TEDJ 2

Charlene is the best person i ever met


coco + patxi:

djs going to make his ass cheeks clap to  rhythm of taruns ass beat box (farts)

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. But a Greek god had returned to earth for the first time in 3000 years, and his big boy name was Paxti. Damn Paxti put the chisel factory straight out of business. Damn Patxi could even spell his own damn name. His jawline was so strong, some claimed it was the only thing that defeated Voldemort at the battle of Hogwarts

charles 19:13:


Antonio 19:24

I’m getting philosophical but I don’t know who should I share this moment with. See youuuu


DJ is such q piece of shit, he told me I already wrote my SCAB but I didn’t. Au revoir


fun u andy errrrgh – love Dan

Phil: Sophie Becker gazes from side to side, her periphery plagued by the ghosts of her past. She wonders, will Max McMclean return? Shall her bed enjoy the presence of a warm, deliciously familiar body? She sighs, and gazes around the party. What are men who are not him? What is life but a prelude to the way Max looks at her before they kiss? She wonder

Holly:  Whatever Phil wrote above about Sophie is only partially true. It’ 7.30pm and its pretty jazzy here. miss you alysha <3

Joe R (19:33): Haven’t really been paying attention to the party, my gf is here and I am having a gr8 bday boxing day. Can Manon call Daniel big chocolate balls Johnson  a chocolate man? Can Phil stop thinking about Sophie? Can Dan resist the temptations of Morley’s chicken? Only time will tell.


It’s heating up. Girls are crowding around Rob Mac. He loves it. Frenchies are playing rap that no-one understands. The calendar is a hit…who doesn’t want to see hot torsos and daily SCA faces? I feel awkward… so does everyone else apparently. I give it 2 hours till everyone has their xmas nipples out after everyone has lipsed Karolina’s mysterious drink. A rom pom pom pom.


It’s Xmasparty, PB5 is online, can’t wait to be at home for a family time as we all deserve it! Enjoy your holidays guys! xo

19.41 – Alexis

Ok bye, thank you all. <3

Mary -So many secrets waiting to spill out into the winter’s night…

19.51 – Maddy

Had a real long conversation with Rob Mac about how I’ve changed and now I’m absolutely glowing. I’m also incredibly tired. I was up until 2am making my Secret Scantas. Can’t complain though since it was my idea. Kinda thinking about bed but also knowing full well I’m not going to do that.

19:55  (Jennifer)

Forrest promised us to dance on the french song ‘ tchoin tchoin tchoin’  but he didn’t do it ! HE IS A LIAR. SHAME ON HIM.

8.03 {Ruby} – Dark ‘fruits’ cider, a fistful of cheese and a lot of assorted pig-lip/eyelid rolls; i’m getting into the Xmas spirit. But I see no scope for wild office party antics, yet. Nobody has gone hard in early, no tiffs left brewing and ready to erupt, singletons have largely paired up.

My bike is looking attractive. I would dance with it if i could.

8.04 (Charles)

FINALLY, a Christmas song. I’m about 5 pints deep, half way to the 10 pint barrier. Can I do it? Am I bold, brave, daring enough to cross the ever elusive 10 Pint Barrier? We shall see.

8:09 (Karolina)

We still have palinka?!

8:07 (Lucie)

O-M-G ! Pete finally arrived 😉 We were all waiting for the star ! The party can finally staaaaaaaaaaart

8:13 (Gemina)

I am gonna miss Charlene so much. 

8:20 – Camille

Finally find a Stella <3

8:23 – Marc

Matthew has such nice balls, really big. Wow

8:24 – Antonio

Guys I still have no flat. So terrible. My neighbour keeps trying to have sex with me.

8:25 – Dan

Gonna miss the french guys so much xoxoxo. Joe F is going to leave soon too. Adieu, mon ami. Bet you didn’t even think about the bees.

alfie – i will learn to animate gods mouth. so I can hear the shit I want to… like Margo Robbie might fancy me or some shit… nah just kidding. I just wanna dance.

8;27- mathieu

liknadljhfg lhkadljelihrthkl lol

8;29- Jacob


8:30: – Charles: Just realised Alysha isn’t here! Funky house blares from the speakers. Mentors, cohorts and alumni all getting in to the mix. I believe we’ve reached the last 10 or minutes of the party. WAIT. THE LIGHTS HAVE JUST GONE OFF. It’s probably time to leave soon, but where will go??? Market House, Hootenanys…or Sophie’s house?? Only smarties have the answer!


it’s eight thirty, peeps is getting lit. It’s been a hard year, there’s some steam to be let off, some terrible choices to be made, it’s understandable, what’s a Christmas party for if not for a suspension of convention. But something more sinister is brewing, there’s mumbles of discontent, we can feel the anger emanating for one corner of the room.

We’re all just waiting for him to speak. He’s brooding now, nodding his head, smoking his vape, but soon he’ll speak, very soon.

Soon Pete will look up, and he’ll scream to the inebriated masses,

‘Yeah the party’s alright yeah, but what’s your proposition yeah?’

8:44: – Thomas:

I’m next to victoria and i think she want to netflix and chill with me !!!!!!!! BYYYEEE

8:46: – Vic:

Sure, man. Whatever makes you sleep at night.

(leaved together}



I am not an SCA student, however, one of my closest friends attends this institution. Initially, I was skeptical – thinking, perhaps, a good creative was a natural creative can make it by their self. It turns out, the best creatives are those who are well-honed and give infinite time and dedication to the art of client seduction. I have seen acerbic wit, punchy humour, compelling intellect and charming warmth from Lucy Pennock. But more broadly, SCA shows exceptional relevance and poignance to all pertinent matters; from feminism and Brexit, to Jeremy Corbyn being a total wanker.

You’re welcome,

Gossip Girl


I concur.

Milly (Lucy’s friend #2)


Joe Bee

Have to admit guys, I’ve been thinking about my sexuality a lot. Is there such a thing as mentor-sexual? It sounds a bit like metro-sexual, a title I already claim, but with an added ’n’, presumably for naughty.

Will report back. But liking the look of some of these mentors. My one assistant I have trusted for advice is both dyslexic and on coke. This might not make the blog, but it is my Robinson Crusoe in a bottle.

Goodnight and Goodbye,

Faithfully yours,

Joe Bee


21.07 Lucy P: My favourite has left the building, but my two other favourites (Jules and Milly) are here and on top form. Pete wants us to hang out with him. Manon is proposing a house party? Stay tuned.

21.08 Milly L – I love Lucy Pennock. she is the hottest on the course and has a brain to match.



Hi bye I’m bent

Who dis sorry I cant come to the phone right now, i’m a coder and I hacked your account and all your social media

Zoe, Jemma, Josie:

Obsessed with the night, kind of sad it’s coming to an end and kind of sad that my very school would turn down the lights and make me leave when I’m so committed and have sold my should to the cult. Max is telling  us to leave but we think she’s great and we’re obsessed with her . Anyway Gotta go wish we could write more but g2g xoxo gossip girl PS. Love parties,

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