By Bunmi Akinwale

Have I stepped in through the gates to hell?

It’s the first day of term two. 

The night before I didn’t feel ready to come back and face reality. One more week could have been good for me to get into ‘school mode’. I had been doing the set tasks over the Christmas holiday period, but I had not yet come to terms with the routine that I had to gradually get back into again. I wasn’t mentally prepared, I should have thought about doing it a couple of weeks ago. 

Today I feel refreshed, motivated, rejuvenated. New Year, a new, changed start. Woke up much earlier than I usually would (15 mins earlier). I wrote in my ‘self journey’ and decided to write something I was grateful for (I don’t usually do this, it’s a first for me). And thought about how I could bring out a better version of myself (I purposely didn’t mention best). Told myself ‘I will become more organised, focused, my time management will be better’, not perfect. I’ll also date and co-ordinate my book and catch up with my notes of the year. 

Yes, a brand new me. 

I’ve greeted my peers, it’s been a while. I asked for an update to their New Year’s and Christmas holiday. Everyone is smiling, also looking refreshed. The room appears quite unusual, it’s been a while. I scan for a seat as my old habitat had been snatched away from me. Anyways I scan the room, I find a seat, drop my bag, hang coat, then the music plays. I’m now in town hall, I’m ready and so steady with whatever is going to be thrown at me. Like I just mentioned above I am becoming a better me. 

The brief is disclosed, deadline is disclosed, three weeks for each brief deadline, amazing. But there is a catch (the little weasel). Every Friday there will be another set brief. 3-4 briefs a month, I wasn’t expecting that many. The pressure that we’ve all been prepped for has arrived.

 It hits likes a ton of bricks.

I’m not hyperventilating or anything, but I’m lost in thought. If I felt any ounce of stress or struggle last term, then I have no idea what I’m throwing myself into this term. Will the end  results become one big mess? Will I have time for myself? Can I manage so much work at once? Will I end up breaking down? Will it crush me? Will I fire up? Have I entered through the gates to hell? Maybe not as extreme as hell, but I’m not too far off. Only time will tell is the answer to all of the questions. 

This will be a challenge that I’m anxiously looking forward to. I will just have to immensely use the methods I have been taught, that I’ve mentioned time and time again. They do say whatever breaks you also makes  you stronger.

I have faith that I will amend if I fall, and perform much stronger.