Hello, me again. 

If you hadn’t noticed by now, I’m very much away with the fairies. I like to live with my head ever-so-slightly up in the clouds, and have no shame in owning this. Because of my slightly unhinged nature, along with the ADHD, I often find myself having extremely bizarre, completely random intrusive thoughts about the most IRRELEVANT things. 

So, as an oversharer, who has one night to write a scab, and is extremely tired, I thought I’d share a few of my favourites with you, that have been locked away in the Pandora’s box that is my notes app. 

If you bit into a random cow in a field (let’s say it’s shaved of all its hair in this instance), would that bite taste like beef?

Personally I think it could. Raw beef is a thing, people eat it. Ever heard of beef carpaccio? That’s raw cow (sorry if I’m putting you off). I personally will not be trying this. I’m a pescetarian. But I also don’t condone biting chunks out of random animals in fields. I’m pretty sure that’s either abuse, or illegal. Or both. 

What the hell happened to Fetty Wap?

This guy literally released an album of bangers, became extremely famous, then dropped off the face of the Earth. Why? I want to know. I must know. I’m concerned for his welfare. Also maybe it’s not a coincidence that the world got significantly shitter since he disappeared. I could probably google this and find out the current status of his well being within 3 minutes, but I prefer the mystery. 

How do huge container ships float?

Again, this is very googleable, and probably has some very simple scientific explanation…but getting me to understand physics is like getting a rock to understand the free market. I just don’t understand how something that big and heavy doesn’t sink instantly. It makes no sense. I get that it’s buoyant, but babies are buoyant, and they still sink after a while. 

Surely it makes more biological sense for us to drink breast milk in our tea and coffee than cow’s milk?

Controversial opinion alert. I just don’t get it. The purpose of milk is for a mother to feed its baby the nutrients it needs. We are not baby cows. We are humans. So why do we drink a weird white liquid from an udder, that is designed for cow consumption, instead of the milk that is actually designed for human consumption? I DON’T GET IT. This question has honestly lived in my brain rent free for years. We wouldn’t drink dog milk. Why do we drink cow milk? Please someone help release me from this existential torture. 

Why has evolution not sorted out the fact that our teeth decay?

Riddle me this: How the hell have we survived so long as a species if our teeth are prone to rotting but animal teeth aren’t? I don’t understand. Is teeth brushing even natural? Or is it something we’ve created to add an extra annoyance to our already annoying lives? How did cavemen survive or eat if they all had mouths full of black gummy stumps? Our stupid fragile little teeth are our greatest downfall. No homosapien is of any use with a toothache. I’m surprised our teeth haven’t killed us all off yet. We’d be better off with just gums. 

I think it’s best I stop there. I think I may have just had some sort of mental breakdown. My brain feels like a crushed up breadstick. 

Until next time dear SCAB readers. I hope you enjoyed. If anyone has any answers to my ponderings please DM them to me. 

Stay tuned for part 2. 

Peace and love x

@issie_peach