I’ve been crying more.

I’ve been crying more. Not because I’m sad, luckily, but about some really silly stuff. And I wouldn’t really call it crying, because it’s more of a single tear that wells up and slowly trickles down my cheek. It’s also of pure joy, it’s always a very happy happenstance. (Not sure if that’s the best use of ‘happenstance’, but I like the sound of ‘happy happenstance’, so I’m going to use it.) You see, I keep crying over incredible moments in sports or any comeback story in a movie. 

I can actually pinpoint the first time I felt the urge to cry over a moment like the one explained. It was 2015 and I was watching the trailer for Star Wars – The Force Awakens. The Millennium Falcon flies in being chased by TIE fighters and it began. First in my chest. It was a powerful tingle, but not a shock. It spread to my arms giving me goose bumps and then my whole face tensed up. I got a sniffle in my nose and eventually a single tear built up on my right eye and went downstream.

This made sense, though. This was Star Wars, I’ve been obsessed about it forever. But it was the second time I cried that I knew something was up. 

I was watching the movie The Big Green. A 1995 film depicting a rag tag group of kids growing up in Texas. Their deadbeat town had done nothing since the highschool (American) football team won the state championship until a foreign exchange teacher from Surrey, England teaches them (English) football. (SPOILERS) Against all odds they win a football tournament in Austin, Texas. This is not a terrific movie and I was only watching it because I was watching a few younger kids and yet I cried the same way I cried for Star Wars.

I couldn’t explain it. Why in the world is this movie moving me to tear? And over the last couple years the trend has continued. Any miraculous sports moment or incredible comeback, I well up a bit. Just this weekend, 20 minutes into Hoop Dreams, I cried for William Gates because he had an incredible game for the St. Johns Varsity basketball team. (Hoop Dreams is an all-time documentary and whether you like basketball or not it’s an inspiring and harrowing film that takes you through the public and private school systems of America.)

I don’t know what this says about me. I like to think it’s a positive, it always feels good when it happens. But for a bit it did make me question my emotional stability. I’ve always thought of myself as a calculated individual that is able to put his brain before his heart and yet, try as I might, I can’t stop myself from crying when I re-watch Derek Jeter’s final at bat for the Yankees. I don’t even really like baseball! It’s just so inspiring! Maybe I’m only just now realising my love for Sports (and Star Wars) is as powerful as it is. They seem like such trivial things to love.

 I guess, it’s because I have nothing else to love.

AHHHHH! Just kidding! Don’t worry, I love tonnes* of stuff! And if you also cry over sports and meaningless movies, let me know and we’ll cry together!

*(Is that the right use of ‘tonnes’ for England? Someone please tell me.)