By Alfie Souter

 

Therapy 2.0

 

Shrink: So, it’s been a while Alfie. How have you been?

 

Alf: Yeah good just started that advertising course I was telling you about. 

 

Shrink: How are you finding it?

 

Alf: Yeah interesting. It’s good to actually have my mind stimulated, feel like it’s been rotting since I finished my degree.

 

Shrink: Interesting use of rotting. What do you mean by that?

 

Alf: Well I’m the kind of person if I don’t have some wider purpose or thing to work on I go a bit crazy. 

 

Shrink: I see. How do you find the people on the course?

 

Alf: Yeah they are great. These girls keep asking me who I fancy though. I mean as Marc put it the other day with the live brief. You don’t want to say who the winner is and then change your mind over the weekend, that’s just cruel.

 

Shrink: Haha Alfie you’re the funniest patient I have ever had. 

 

Alf: You shouldn’t make such sweeping statements Doctor. It’s unprofessional though I will allow it in this instance.

 

Shrink: Thank you. Who is this Marc? 

 

Alf: Oh he’s the dean, he runs the course

 

Shrink: I see what do you think of him?

 

Alf: Hmm well he said he likes to think of himself as Willy Wonka. But he’s more of a compere in a comedy act. He’s the guy you didn’t pay to see but is essential for teeing up the talented acts on offer. Like Dave dye for example. Marc is the tiny gears behind the clock face if you will. 

Shrink: Who is the clock face then if not the Dean?

Alf: Me. I joke. In all seriousness, it is of course the students. Without the students, it’s just a dingy room in the back of a church. And I take my hat off to Marc for consistently selecting talented young people.  

 

Shrink: Interesting. Who is this Dave Dye person you mentioned earlier?

 

Alf: Oh he’s just some guy who talks about some shit he’s got in his loft. 

 

Shrink: That does sound interesting how can one listen to this content.

 

Alf: Well you can go to his website https://davedye.com/. Or he is also available on Apple podcast.

 

Shrink: Wow what a great piece of free promotion you have done Alfie do you think Dave will reward you with one of those Arsenal season tickets he possesses? 

 

Alf: Ha I’m sure he will. I’m sure he will.

 

Shrink: So do you think you made the right decision in choosing this course?

 

Alf: Yeah I do actually. I just needed a path to go down and I feel like I can run down this one till my feet bleed. 

 

Shrink: Oooh dramatic. She mumbles.

 

Alf: What was that?

 

Shrink: Oh nothing please continue. 

 

Alfie: Yeah I will run down it until I collapse and cough up blood onto the yellow bricks. And probably then go into something like game design.

 

Shrink: I see. Anyway, that seems like a natural 500-word conclusion to our session.

 

Alf: Thanks this was definitely worth the 2 million pounds an hour fee.