By Dean Shein

 

Lose Yourself

 

 

If I did it

 

This was a title of a novel by O. J. Simpson, in which he puts forth a hypothetical description of the murders of Nicole Brown.

 

Today I answer the same question.

 

If I did it… 

 

All again… 

 

How would I be different?

 

Well this is a good day to be answering that. Today is the 5th of July. Marc’s Birthday. My birthday present to him is a visit to the ADHD clinic. I’m a bit nervous. I don’t want to lose the energy I have. I want to channel it. I don’t want to lose my appetite if I’m on some sort of medication.  

 

 

Here are some questions from the form I had to fill out…

 

 

Has difficulty in following instructions and/or fails to finish work.

 

         Rarely or Never

         Sometimes

         Often

            Very Often

 

Does not pay attention to detail and or makes carless mistakes

 

          Rarely or Never

         Sometimes

         Often

            Very Often

 

 

Over-talkative.

 

 

          Rarely or Never

         Sometimes

         Often

            Very Often

 

 

Is easily distracted.

 

 

          Rarely or Never

         Sometimes

         Often

            Very Often

 

 

I got distracted while filling out the form. This stuff tends to happen.

 

Anyway, getting my health in sorted is my biggest priority at the moment if I am to do all of this again. 

 

And this is the thing about ADHD. Was I not meant to tell you why it would be different next time round? Normally, I’d list a bunch of things I’d aim to do differently. But I’m not going to do that. I don’t want to make any more empty promises. Instead I’ll say one thing. 

 

I’ll turn to my favourite copywriter of all time… Eminem

 

In his masterpiece ‘Lose Yourself’ the lyrical genius exclaims

 

“You better lose yourself in the music, the moment 

You own it, you better never let it go

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better”

 

For some crazy and strange reason. Opportunityisnowhere. 

 

It’s still here. It’s only just arrived.

 

“Success is my only motherfuckin’ option, failures not

Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go, I cannot grow old in Salem’s lot

So here I go is my shot

Feet fail me not ’cause maybe the only opportunity that I got”

 

I think this pretty much sums it up. But replace Salem’s lot with Parsley Bay.

 

I do want to grow old their… but not now. For now, I need to be right here in Brixton. Writing rhymes like the poet that is Marshall Mathers. 

 

To ‘Lose Yourslef’ is to find what Csikszentmihalyi’ reffers to as ‘Flow’ in what you are doing. To lose touch of the outside world and be one with your work. Something Marc has really tried to instil in me. 

 

“You can do anything you set your mind to, man”