By Gigi Rice

 

Mentor wanted 

 

My dear Readers, 

 

As I gayly wished upon a star at Christmas, I closed my eyes as tight as a Nun’s vagina and whispered “Dear Saint Nick, I wish I wish for a mentor this year”. 

 

It was a wish of the most sincere calibre. 

 

I’d really really love someone in Adland to chat to regularly and perhaps go visit at their work once a month/6 weeks for some advice and guidance. A northern star to fumble for when the night is cloudy and the rain seeps it’s way through my shitty Nikes. 

 

Required qualities in a mentor- 

 

1. Dark humour. This is ESSENTIAL. I believe that if you can laugh about something, it can’t hurt you as much. So get ready for giggles galore as we navigate our way through crazy Adland. 

 

2. A streak of naughty. I like to approach ideas with “whats the worst thing I can do without getting arrested”, and have often found myself sometimes floundering and losing that thought which ultimately ends up in me making boring choices. Please help me keep this alive. 

 

3. Willingness for a drink. Anytime, any place, anywhere. I can’t say I’m a binge drinker at all but when the world feels a little heavy or indeed is a joyful place, lets have a drink. 

 

4. Clear articulation. I was born with hearing loss so extra brownie points if you have a lovely clear voice. Don’t worry too much about volume, I can lip read but really sorry if you are very strongly Scottish because that’s a struggle. 

 

5. Honesty. Just tell me what you truly think, lets be upfront and open. If my work is awful- please help me improve it and if it’s good, it’s also nice to know because I value that feedback when I know the person wouldn’t just give it for anything. 

 

 

And I assume you are wondering, what benefit would it be to have a young Gigi hounding me for time and attention? Well Dear Reader, here’s what I have to exchange. 

 

(For personal reference, if Jack Whitehall and Claire from Fleabag had a baby, it would be me. Utterly blunt, efficient and knowingly posh). 

 

1. I have an opinion on everything. You may not want it and it’s probably wrong but it’s here. 

 

2. Willing to fight your Adland enemies. Will murder, shank and freeze assets (I can do that) as long as you’ll give me an alibi in court. 

 

3. Can bring baked goods. Happy to be your baking bitch and bring goods or collect whatever takes your fancy en route. 

 

4. Embarrassing stories. I have a MYRIAD of embarrassing/mortifying moments that I have lived through so if your day is ever a bit blue, bell me up. 

 

5. Can lip read. Will enter other agencies and spy on them and report back on their ideas via the window. 

 

6. Impressions. I am a RADA trained actress and quality entertainer and am happy to throw some accents or impressions your way. 

 

7. I am the most un-punk rock punk rocker. I’m all for the anarchy but also love avocado’s. Let’s scheme out of ad industry ideas about how to start the revolution and make glitter t shirts for our cause.

 

8. Conception. Eventually I’ll be birthed as a fully fledged creative and I hope that you would be proud to be midwife.