My Fun-eral, by @orla27marie

Orla O'Connor

By Orla O’Connor – From the 2015/16 Intake


My Fun-eral

I got back from Dublin about 3 days ago after attending a 4 day funeral.  Gran had passed, which was a good thing as she was no longer in pain.  Parts of the funeral I agreed with; as she would have loved the long services and saying more decades of the rosary then you can shake a stick at.  However it did dawn on me that she wasn’t always dead.  This shouldn’t just be a solemn affair, with images of a withered lady.  It should be a celebration of her life, and a true reflection of her character. 


So I have planned my own fun-eral that I think best reflects me, just in-case anyone needs to know. 


Day 1 – traditional open casket wake in the house.  Lots of prayers to keep the family happy and lots of alcohol to kick off the creative juices.  There will be an urn that guests can decorate however they see fit. 


Day 2 – the funeral service.  Black will be banned unless it is used to accessories a colourful outfit.  Lively music, rolling out all the top notch hymns, like if I were a butterfly (if anyone else went to Catholic school they will understand).  I will then be cremated. 


Day 3 – My best friend Sophie will collect the ashes and take them to be compressed until they form a diamond.  She will then bury the diamond in the urn in a predetermined location.  Two treasure maps will be produced and wax sealed. 


10 years later – My brother and sister will receive the maps on the 10 year anniversary of my death.  Whoever can find me first can keep me.  It’s what I would want.  


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