By Daniel Johnson

 

No Ideas

 

I spent this Friday evening babysitting fueled by Monster energy drinks. Working just to pay off my overspending at pop Brixton. 

 

Then I spent the rest of this weekend getting ahead of Marc’s sample schedule, as I have to leave early for work on Monday and Tuesdays. 

 

A total of 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. Not bad.

 

Yet as D&AD draws nearer, I feel like I am no closer to even a wood let alone a yellow or black pencil. 

 

My first idea is very expected. 

 

The second is vague at best. 

 

The 3rd actually had me excited…

 

…until I realised it might be violating one of the rules laid out in the brief. 

 

*Rolls eyes*

 

Which leaves me in no place to continue the week according to Marc’s grand master plan. 

 

It feels as though nothing is working the way it should. 

 

Switch briefs or double down, I have no clue what to do. 

 

I’m stuck with that feeling of empty dread, circulating the middle of my chest, right around the solar plexus; what exactly I have accomplished this weekend?

 

Feeling like it was all a waste. And that the coming week will end in blind panic regardless of any effort. 

 

I honestly can’t wait for D&AD to be over, to focus on my portfolio and crits. 

 

I’m not even sure this competition makes much sense to me anyway. 

 

We are generating ideas, for awards? 

 

Isn’t that backwards, like literally what we are not supposed to do? 

And every new blood campaign feels like its about saving the world.

 

I guess the industry really wants to be something it isn’t. 

 

I am not afraid to admit that I just want to sell shit and have fun in the process. I’ve been poor for close to half my life, that’s about 10 years. 

 

Think about that, from the moment I was given £2 for school dinners, up to the present day. 

 

For me, making the world better is a wage putting money in my pocket. 

 

Cigarettes, I don’t mind, Gambling, let’s go. 

 

Its all a matter of individual will right? 

 

Most people choose to be manipulated by society rather than sit quietly with themselves looking at their own flaws, shortcomings and true desires.

 

Sometimes I feel that ideas like morality and being woke are a privileged thing. Nice ideas for those with nothing more pressing to deal with. 

 

I realise it may seem pretty selfish and short termist but I am a single child after all. 

 

Maybe in 10 years, I’ll realise I was wrong and that I need to give back. 

 

But by then I’ll be privileged. 

 

Now I know I must seem pretty bitter, moaning about the industry’s self-image crisis whilst being unable to come up with a single idea decent idea. 

 

I feel like the creative equivalent of the guy hating on athletes from his lazy boy. 

 

In my defence, I wanted to stop at my own shortcomings but these scabs have word minimums.