SCABs

Nothing Beats An SCA’er  – By @ClancyForrest

By Forrest Clancy

 

Nothing Beats An SCA’er 

When Peter Souter spoke at our school recently, he told us that in order to learn more about our favourite ads we needed to write them out, so that we could learn how it felt to do so. I have sort of done that.

Our hero walks in her front door. She’s on the phone.

“Ahh I’ve had the longest day man. You said it would be done by 12 now you’re saying it’s done at 1…”

She pauses.

“I’m not opening up a keynote.”

At the top of the stairs is her house mate.

“Keynote? That’s light work. I’ve gotta spend 2 HOURS on Photoshop, just to get a slide done.”

We cut to another student arriving at school. It’s still dark.

“2 hours? Seriously? I’ve gotta start my reflections before Marc even sets the brief on Monday!”

And another. Sitting at the computers.

“Ohhhhh you think that’s tough? I have to make mine on the desktops, and squeeze the rest of my work in before school closes.”

Camera pans to reveal Ian.

“What’s wrong with the desktops?

The passing of the limelight from student to student continues for the rest of the ad.

“Whatever. I have to fight all these wastemen just to cook lunch in the microwave. Back off, everyone. “

She waves back a crowd of SCA mentors.

“This is my kitchen!”

Pan to a boy.

“Fighting? You don’t know fighting. I have to fight all the mentors before I can even get an idea THROUGH!”

The mentors now turn on him like zombies. Then swivel.

“That’s nothing. With the price my family is paying for this, if I’m not top of the class I’m a downright failure.”

“Wow you are beggin’ it, man. I’ve got a bigger chance of getting hit by lightning than being top of this class.”

“Top of the class? Are you serious? I’ve gotta write the slickest SMP of my life, come up with a banging idea, and then craft all the executions perfectly, just to get NOTICED.”

“Oh, so you get to craft your own stuff. I have to scamp, write, and mock mine up, just for some art director to go and fuck with my my work all for the sake of a layout.”

“Yeah? YEAH? Well I have to write my own briefs. Check my own work. Sometimes I just carry my whole team. And my best mate’s have partnered up without me.”

“Oi!”

Silence. The camera swivels. Back to our hero from the opening. Now we really kick into gear as the music starts to pick up.

“You ever tried to survive unemployed in London?”

“That’s easy, you’re still living at home. I gotta steal dinner from Tesco’s. And beat security.”

“Security? I got people tryna break into my room every night. Try being your own security!”

“And what. Even when I win the brief, Marc still gives me bad feedback?”

“Well if I stoped working, I would literally get the boot!”

Crank up the music. Super the Nike Logo.

Super the Legend “Nothing beats an SCA’er”

 

 

The copy scores 90.7 in the Flesch Reading Ease test

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