Persuade Me To Break The Law, by @TomEspezel
By Tom Espezel Bentley
Think about yesterday at work. Now think about the days preceding that. Now think about all the weeks before that. Do they all merge into one unremarkable blur of on the go breakfasts, internet procrastinations, endless coffees and infuriating commutes?
This is the prime of your life. The time when great stories of adventure and intrigue are born. Don’t you want to have some more exciting tales to dazzle your kids with than just an anecdote about how you once stole a stapler from work? If there was ever a time do something wild, that time is now.
Who wants to be known as ’safe’ or ‘predictable’? Wouldn’t you love to be able to pull on a leather jacket without looking like you’re trying too hard? To achieve the nickname you’ve always craved (mad dog, psycho, The lunatic or crazy *insert name here* – to name but a few) could take years. There is only one, full proof way. You need to do something illegal. Plug in some NWA and think fuck the police. I think you’ve earned enough good deed points by now, time to cash in a few.
Buy some drugs, steal from a shop, if your feel really brave, don a Nixon mask and rob the local bank. Take your reputation into your own hands and write the bio that you’ve always wanted.