Pessimist mind fog and life questioning. – By @bastien52530427
By Bastien Chazalette Zaco
Pessimist mind fog and life questioning.
Days are long. They really are. It’s probably a good thing. I mean it’s obviously a good thing. Feeling that every day seems to last longer than it actually is. But the problem is here. It seems longer but is it really? Definitely not. As a human you think a lot, you question yourself a lot, because you have no choice, because you like it or because it’s your job. Whatever. It makes a day fell longer without extend its during, however. It feels like your brain has its own moving space, moving faster than your body could ever do. Moving forward, backward, turning in a way and the opposite one. What a mess. And what a struggle to keep balance when one of your main organ is moving like a crazy mouse trapped in a cage. Trying to not think about it too much, is a solution. But by trying to do so, it’s already too late, you started the engine. Because your brain is the only part of you able to make a decision. It controls you. It is you. So you are your brain. You are a fucking crazy mouse running in a crazy fucking cage you call world. Moving forward for coming backward, choosing a destination and choose another one. But it’s ok. Because you living on a ball. A ball can run in every direction. It can run forever. And our ball? It Is lost in an infinite universe of possibilities. Where an infinite number of decisions and actions create the why, the where, the who and the when. But even if we think, even if we are, we don’t have a clue of what the responses could be. About the why, the where, the who and the when. The when. We surely have a blur idea of when our crazy cage was created but not precisely. Not when it will end, not when an action or a decision will cause a terrible impact with a smaller or even bigger cage. Because they are other cages. Floating around the infinite of darkness. Driving crazy on the spatial and temporal ways of the universe. So when? When could we ever be sure than the immensity of we are a part of is really how we expect it to be? When will we able to see the bigger picture? Actually, how can we see the bigger picture of something we can’t even measure. Probably not by realistic meanings. But is realistic a real thing in this madness of incertitude. Incertitudes on which we try to create a complex and defined world. What a joke. Who makes the rules? Who is creating this non-sense environment? Who is the person to blame for all the shitty things that happen? No-one probably. Everyone certainly. So we may stop now to search for a culprit. Because he is probably too close to us to feel comfortable. And for the who create all existing things? Thought question. A multitude of gods if we listen most of the mouses. All acting in different ways to say the same things. Or all acting in the same way to say different things. I don’t know. Who knows? Those so-called gods, all wanting to create and to destroy what they create? Weird. Weirder to think that if the gods look like us they made us that small. Lost in a stars ocean. Lost in hour mind. Lost with the direction we have to take. The decisions we have to make. Weird that they will let us run and run toward a non-existing goal. Or maybe it’s their point. Seating on an asteroid watching their mouse herds running around. Maybe it’s true. Or definitely not. So if this kind of spatial wizards are not. Who made the all we living in? The who may become a what. Maybe the what is nothing consistent. Maybe we don’t know because we can’t. Maybe because the what don’t want us to find out. In a case or another, what the point to keep looking. But mouses are like that. With a desperate need to know. Know everything. Try to know everything. Accumulate pieces of information like food substance. It’s a good thing. Or it’s not. But it’s what happens. And when we will know all that will happen? Can we know all? Probably not. In a cumulated mind, where every little single of us will provide his specific knowledge maybe. But it’s not credible. So what are we looking for? Just an endless path to an unknown destination. And if the destination was unpleasant? If we were already at the destination? We do have a cage. We do have some answers. But we want more. Because we know more exist. We exist because there is more. And we should be happy. But it’s tough to be happy when you know that you could have want you don’t have yet. Especially for our species. Trying to grab every new piece of everything. Maybe to compensate for the fact that we don’t know shit. Sorry, we know stuff. Stuff made up by other humans. Stuff created. Can a thing made up can be considerate like an acted piece of knowledge? Look around. Look at the world we live in. How many informations can you trust? We don’t even know where we are… Where do we come from? From ourself? Or from all the other selves who used to live in the same cage. Scientists would call it evolution. Evolution. To where? From where? Again. Hard to say. Hard to know. So we trying. To plan. To see. But actually, we are lost. In ourselves and in a gigantic black tide we just start to understand. And if we start to understand it. A big other question remains. Maybe the hardest to answer. Why? Why the fuck are we here? Do we have a purpose? It is really decent to think that our proper existence should have a purpose? Probably not. Too pretentious. But if not, we can just assume that we are due to a complex evolution. Resulting from a lot of mistakes. Miracles for some people. Whatever. Just some kinds of random actions. Same kind of actions that can lead us to a brutal collision with an unknown entity or any kind of unexpected destruction. So yes. The thing that creates us can also be the thing that will destroy us. It probably will be. Because here how goes the life in the cage. Build by the belief. By the trust. By the actions of the mouses inside it. And the mouses inside will probably end it. Not by purpose. Just because they run too fast. In too many different directions. Confronting each other to know. Know the why, the where, the who and the when. And because we need those answers. Or deeply think we need it. We will never stop. We will running. Every single day. And every single day will last an eternity. Every single day will feel longer than it actually is. And maybe it’s the problem. Maybe we just need to stop. Stop wanting to beat the time. Start let the bigger, the what, decide for us. However, he is or not. Let the why, the where, the who and the when in the dark. Let the answer to the one who detains it. If there is a one. If there is one he would probably tell us that we driving crazy. Or maybe he will just tell me that I am driving crazy. He will be right. He will always be right. Seating on his stupid realistifantastic asteroid. Judging. Or just don’t be.