By HUSH intake 18/19

What will you do to attract attention on portfolio day?

 

Peter Souter wanted a cold glass of appletiser, Mike wanted noise cancelling headphones. What will you do to curry favour with ECDs and make them remember your name?

 

Mary: I’m going to get a troupe of actors to act out each and every campaign. Starting with the one for dog food.

 

Dan: I have an incredibly large forehead and I’m planning to use it as the media space for my portfolio.

 

Ruby: Various cheats, involving smells and subliminal sounds. And OTT food offerings.

 

Charles: Toyed with the idea of having baccy, rizla and filters on my desk to hand out to any ECDs that smoked. Soon realised this would involve buying my own tobacco, so will have to make do with a “free hugs” sign. Or a t shirt that reads “I went to SCA portfolio day 2019 and all I got was this t shirt and an incredible creative team.”

 

Holly: I hope to use my improv skills and dry sense of humour to make them laugh so much, that they will offer me a placement in hope I will not only create great things, but bring the comedy to the offices.

 

Vic: I’ve been to a lot of student fairs and now know there are only two ways of attracting the masses: prize wheel and mamma mia sing-along. Obviously, only I will be allowed to sing.

 

Marta: I think Vic’s got us covered.

 

Jem: I’ll probs just dislocate my leg.

 

Saphire: Forrest came up with the idea of an Arse Kissing stand.

I’m breaking up with you.

 

Karolina: I will bring my grandma. She doesn’t speak any English, but that won’t stop her from telling everyone, that Linike (her name for me) is the most talented and the most beautiful in the room, so you’d better hire her. Maybe she will tell some awkward family stories but everyone will remember, I’m the girl who ate a Christmas tree aged 4.

 

Rachel: Matching bdsm outfit for me and Tarun, ever since I put a belt around his neck for our photo he’s been finding any excuse to put a collar on him…might as well.

 

Maddy: Joe and I have both decided to dye our hair purple. Just in general though, not necessarily for portfolio day. We’re planning on having an ice bucket of our beer business cards too. Most importantly, will have to nail down our interpretive dance pitch.

 

Patxi & Tom: Live Judo ring. Fight or ‘Folio.

 

Joe F: If I wear nothing from the shirt down then they’ll never know I’m naked. The ultimate power move. What’s this SCAB about again?

 

Forrest:  Saphire and I are going to create an ass kissing stand as our desk. 1 pound a kiss.

 

Saphire 2.0: No we’re not Forrest.

 

Alex B: I will sing any song they want like Bob Dylan, whether they’ve asked for it or not.

 

Joe R: hire 100 samurai to come and attack me and proceed to act out a 45 minute choreographed fight scene, wrecking the union club in the process.

 

Josie: Lovely packed lunches – egg baps, salt and vinegar crisps and an orange Just Juice. All packed in a brown paper bag!

 

Lucy: I’m going to braid Lauren’s hair into tiny little plaits whilst she massages my feet whilst we sing ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’ in unison.

 

Leli: 2 fans.