Question everything, especially yourself – By @ConorHamill4

Question everything, especially yourself

28 days until I begin my SCA journey and that seems 337 days too soon. A whirlwind of an application process was followed by a whirlwind of an acceptance period which has now brought me back to earth and back to my laptop. As with the interview process I imagine that SCA will be full of unexpected twists and turns which are probably even unforeseen by those in control of the school and this leaves me questioning everything and anything to do with the course.

It seems that anytime I think I’ve worked something out in relation to what criteria I have to meet on the assigned 10 tasks I find myself spiralling into a pit of self-doubt as everything seems to work but yet it never seems good enough. This habit of questioning everything I cannot see fading anytime soon or even in the distant future, however that for me is the crux of why I have found myself on this path.

My final year of university was characterised by inertia and boredom, days spent going through the motions with no real care for why I was writing any particular essay. The monotony was mentally debilitating, stunting any creative spark that existed inside me. So, despite the anxiety and self-doubt that accompanies questioning every aspect of this unique institution, I find it helps to question myself and ask why I applied and why I’ve found myself in this position. 

Unfortunately, that question tends to lead to more questions, however, it’s better to accept that it is just part of the grand tapestry of questioning everything.

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