SCABs

Recipes for a Good Half Term – By KRAK intake 2019/20

By KRAK intake 2019/2020

 

Recipes for a Good Half Term

 

 

Ok, let’s go for your recipes for a good half term. Make it good or dark… Please french friends, make it french. 

 

Alfie: I boycott all future scabs until group scab 5 and 6 are published.

 

Oli: 

 

Here is my four-pronged approach to a productive half-term:

 

 

  • Find a goal 

 

 

Mine is to stir civil unrest in Finland. 

 

 

  • Think of ways to reach that goal. 

 

 

I am applying the techniques I learned throughout the past six weeks in order to find the most creative way to cause a popular uprising in Finland, 

 

 

  • Smash that Goal

 

 

I have not yet found a way to create chaos in Finland but I’m sure I will at some point. 

 

 

  • Set a new goal

 

 

Financially profit from the Finnish chaos.

 

Alice: Jamie’s recipe for a good (pukka) half term (just like Nonna used to make it)

 

A generous handful of sleep

A good glug of catch up TV

Twenty cups of wine

And a pinch of salt 

 

Whack it all in a bed and bake for one week. PUKKA!!

 

Ellie:

 

1 x jar of nutella

4 x eggs

Bake for 20 mins.

Makes a brownie or chocolatey omelette. Depending on skill. 

Good news is it’s soft, which is handy as the dentist has banned me from solid foods due to extreme stress related teeth grinding. Cheers SCA. 

 

Jay:

 

Step 1: Watch every Rugby World Cup highlight video I can find on YouTube dating back to 1987.

 

Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

 

Elisa: Start of by turning of your alarm clock and let your body catch up on sleep. Once it’s awakened mix in all the things you didn’t have time for during term. A sprinkle of catch up with friends, a big dash of family time and some extra time for hobbies. Add in a bit of dots to collect to keep your brain engaged. Then realise there is homework you should get done and start panicking. Finish in the pressure cooker.

 

Elle: 

A cuppa. 

 

You will need a mug, kettle, water, tea bag (of choice), water and sugar.

 

  1. Place mug in front of you. 
  2. Turn the kettle on. 
  3. If you don’t know how to make a cup of tea you’re a wrongen. 

 

Bellwood x 

 

Tommy:

You don’t get a cup of tea tattooed on your ribs and then let someone make ludicrous statements like the famous Elle Bellwood had just done.

 

Here are some tea making tips:

 

  1. Use a pot. You are going to want more than one cup.
  2. Heat that pot before you add tea or boiling water to it.
  3. Add milk to your cup first. It’s science. 
  4. Mugs are for mugs. Thinner the lip, better the PG Tip.
  5. Skimmed milk is just white water.
  6. Demerera sugar goes better with more fragrant teas
  7. On a date, don’t go on at length about the intricacies of tea making. It worked that one time but it won’t work again. Just let her go, she’s gone and she’s moved on. Why can’t you?!

 

Katie:

Start with a big dollop of rejuvenating sleep. Mix that with a generous sprinkle of countryside dog walks and a spoonful of fresh air. Add a good helping of outings and relaxation with family and friends before blending it all together and baking for an hour in a preheated oven at 180 degrees. Serve with an ice cold glass of Picpoul de Pinet.

 

Gigi: A recipe is all fun and games until you realise THAT YOU CAN NEVER SWITCH OFF. Therefore my advice for a half term is to ignore that mini Marc Lewis sitting on your shoulder constantly telling you to do more and be more and look for opportunities everywhere. Oh but wait HE IS SO LOUD. I’ve accepted that all I’m going to get from this half term is a bit more of a lie in with the same amount of panic that I usually wake up with. Marc have you got a spare pacemaker? I could bloody use one. 

 

Eva:

First go back to your home town, see you family and friends. Tell everyone: bitch, make me a cup of tea (and they will). Try not to see everyone, only the people that are important. So you can have some time to soak everything in. Have some hometown food, see your old street again and go back to your roots. Then mid- half term go back to London. Work, work, work. In the weekend after, have lots of fun. 

 

Evil Dean: 

Preheat oven to 420 degrees celsius.

 

Step one: Watch ‘Run Lola Run’ with Ivan.

Step two: Watch a few more movies with Ivan.

Step three: Get looked at funny by Ivan as I’m uncultured and haven’t seen many great movies.

Step four: Watch ‘The Dark Knight’ with Ivan, Alfie, Charlie, Chris, & DJ.

Step five: A pinch of salt. 

Step six: Go foraging with Charlie. 

Step seven: Read Positioning. 

Step eight: A teaspoon of Love.

Step Nine: Watch another foreign movie with Ivan and have him yell at me because we have mice.

Step Ten: A spoon of… ‘Honey, Clean your shit!’

 

Serve with a side of mashed potassium. 

 

Feeds 38-40 people.

 

Camila: Recipe: Find a good balance between relaxing and keeping your mind set on your goals. 

 

Alex:

  1. Lick a houseplant. Not only will this provide one of your 5-a-day, it will also water your plants at the same time. Winning!
  2. Coat two medium sized radishes in butter and shove them violently in your ears. This should act as a handy blocker to Brexit. If you don’t have any radishes, a 2016 copy of The Sun marinated overnight in self-loathing should do the trick.
  3. Sauté some haters in a healthy dose of laughter, love and Prosecco. Serve chilled on a bed of positive vibes.
  4. This 31st of October, turn your Dairylea into Scarylea by giving them raisin eyes and hiding them under your co-workers’ seats. WOooOO!

 

Maëva:

How to make a perfect holiday recipe? :

 

Start by spreading sleep

Add some Netflix sauce on the base

Sprinkle with relaxation time

Mix some visit with good walks

Pour a lot of idea in your mind

Add a touch of shopping

Put to rest for 9 days

 

And we will be ready for school!

 

Munraj: Catch up on all the sleep you don’t get during term time. 

 

Charlie

Start by foraging for some fresh dots. Once you’ve gathered the juiciest offerings, bring them back for a gentle wash of selection and order. During this time, pre-heat the pan of knowledge and add some context for the dots to sauté in.  Once washed also add the dots and simmer until golden, frequently adding a pinch of inspiration and stirring…also make some toast. 

 

Voilou, your idea is served.

 

Chris:

1-800-dial-a-shaman for a journey of enlightenment, when presented with the peace pipe.

Remember to breathe deep and hold it in until things become funky. Do not cha cha slide but one hop this time.exhale.

 

Upon returning to the natural world, keep a diary of all experiences, no matter how strange because inspiration is generated from the most unlikeliest of places.

 

DJ 

As the greatest student of all time, I feel obliged to share this recipe.

 

So that many generations of SCA students from KRACK onwards can refer to this life-changing creative hack.

 

This shall be a moment of creation on par with the time that Jesus dude parted the clouds and imparted man with the eleven commandments. 

 

So what is this sacred recipe I hear you ask?

 

wellllll, tiss none other than…

 

THE HUMBLE POT NOODLE!

 

YES!!! When you have 4 hours to do a 10 hour job, one must be willing to cut down their break to 10 minutes and shorten their lifespan by a mere 3 weeks per bowl.

 

Simply grab your pot of poison, boil the water and gnaw on your spoon like Ellie (or an anxious beaver).

 

Once boiled grasp the handle of SCAs fine limescale ridden kettle and pour the hot stuff into the pot.

 

And there you go, you’re ready to go back to arguing with your emotionally unavailable, abusive lover known as Adobe.

 

Ivan: Recipe? I only use my oven as additional closet space.

 

Marley: 

Ideally get one of those ready-mix bags because a week is far too short be sorting your life back out from scratch. 

 

Chloë: 

  1. Take the train to parents’ house.
  2. Get mum to cook all meals for the week – no need to worry oneself with recipes.

 

Sean:

Take one fresh scab, add a glass of red wine, nestle under your favourite sofa blanket, throw in a dash of relaxing holiday inspiration, et voilà – order a takeaway.

 

Bastien: The first thing to do before an all half term week is to get tired from the week-end before. So just have dinners with your friends, drink, laugh and eat well. Go to a party or whatever, and get back in your bed for the next twelve hours. 

After this good, long and deserve night you are ready to start the main course. Make your apartment clean and ready to support you for a week. And start planning conscientiously the job or things you have to do for the next few days. Or you can just try to reach your comfy sofa and start a new series, choose a good one, open a bottle of wine and cut some slices of saucisson. You are ready to work. (Remember to always do more…)

 

David :

 

  1. Spread your body on the bed and add blankets above it.
  2. Make it rest for 12 hours. If your roommate’s alarm clock, that everyone but him can hear, rings at 6:30 am, crush it into the wall until you get small pieces (the alarm clock not the roommate).
  3. When your body is ready, play La Marseille as loud as can before going to the toilet if he still sleeps.
  4. Pretend you didn’t notice and that someone may have pushed the play’s button by accident.
  5. Put your hand on your heart and sing the chorus, because you’re french. If not, do it anyway.
  6. Then, find something to do for the rest of the week.
  7. Repeat the last step until you do.

 

Aaron: 

 

  1. Find any draw in your house and dismantle it.
  2. Find a cupboard in your house and dismantle it.
  3. Find any other furniture and appliances in your house to dismantle.
  4. Jumble all the screws, planks, blots, rivets and hinges.
  5. Play some motivational music.
  6. Start reassembling the furniture.
  7. Complete and position your furniture in the same spots as before.
  8. This should take you to the end of the week.
  9. Know that all our endeavours are meaningless. We are tiny specs in the universe who will inevitably end with a whimper whilst shitting our pants.
  10. Start the next term of SCA

 

Matt: Rest and be lazy. But foot still on that gas pedal so not to break hard earned forming creative habits. And remind Chet the cat who I am…and maybe practice creative habits with him………..maybe practice creative habits on him.  

Rachael: Mix your stress tears with your newly found white hairs for a fantastic sedative to forget about all the deadlines you have during this fake half term. Take me for example- I still haven’t submitted my SCAB that was due yesterday!

 

Phillip: Ditto

 

Rolly

  1. Sleep well and wake up looking wonderful. 
  2. A day trip or two to somewhere outside London. 
  3. FINALLY, give my mom a call as it’s her birthday tomorrow. 

…why am I doing this…it’s supposed to be a holiday…. 

 

Pierre

Dots (100ml per day)

Energy/Energie: 4KJ/1 Kcal : Friends/amis : <0,5g ;-of which saturates/dont saturées 0g ; Creativity/créativité :<0,5g ;of which bad ideas/avec mauvaises idées :0g ; stress/stresse :0g ;Stupidity/stupidité <0,01g.

And a lot of wine because water makes you rusty

 

Sam

Recipe – Toasted Concrete with Marmite and Cheese

Is it simple? YES.

Is it unexpected? Hell yeah. 

Is it concrete? Quite literally.

Is it credible? No, but we’re still in term 1, we’re not meant to have good ideas yet and I’m still riding the wave of a cup we call Squish™

Is it emotional? It will be for your dentist.

Is there a story? There is now.

 

Holly: 

It is important to remember during this crazy ride we call SCA that you are still human (of sorts) so the recipe for this half term is simple:

All you need is a dash more glamour, a pinch more sleep and a sprig of socialising. Top off with a couple of facemasks and cosy nights in and you’ll be ready to take term I part II by storm. 

 

Carly:

 

Step 1: fly your mum in from bermuda

 

Step 2: have a good chat (bitching session) over tea and cake (lots of cake)

 

Step 3: have a nice early night 

 

Step 4: Rethink step 3 because your brain is so wired that you can’t get to sleep until 3am

 

Step 5: wake up at 12pm. every day. and not a minute earlier.

 

Step 6: repeat step 2

 

Leanne: 

Step 1: Breathe. Release that sigh that has been sitting against your ribs and remember, for a second, what the sky looks like.

 

Step 2: Call your girlfriend. A lot. She misses you and you’re some weird mix of bored and horny, without her. 

 

Step 3: Cook something. With your actual, human hands. Find time between waking and sleeping to do the little things that make you feel stupid, and free.

 

Step 4: Dance. Like that scene in footloose but…with a little more rhythm and a lot more ass. Buy new shoes, because you’ve worn out the bottoms of your “summer might just last forever” sneakers. 

 

Step 5: Return, renewed.  

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