By Gnome

 

Rough and Ready

 

This was never meant to be.

A summer of missed opportunity.

Full of firsts and lasts.

A flick of the switch. Hit restart.

 

I had placements. People. A portfolio.

But I wasn’t ready and set to go.

When I should have been flying, I was falling.

With nothing but demons calling.

 

I hit rock bottom.

But I didn’t see a problem.

It was my life, how I wanted to live it.

More drugs. I had no limit.

I’d score with precision.

To keep the truth out of vision.

When others stopped, I started again.

 

Charlie became my best friend.

He was my blanket. He kept me warm.

He was my only norm.

I had to ask a question.

I had to get help.

Continue and die, 

or stop and retry?

 

The answer is simple now in my mind.

I want a positive future.

To be a role model for my kind.

I became the expected. That care leaver.

The addict. Angry. Underachiever.

One is too many and a thousand never enough.

There’s wrong which is easy.

Then there’s right but fucking tough.

 

I’m not a selfish person, but I kinda have to be.

I need to come first in my recovery.

So for this next bit, I don’t care what anyone thinks.

We are human and all our shit stinks.

 

I moved in with Marc.

Got clean, basically a fresh start.

I’ve been given something I’ve not really had before.

A family, love, people that want me to soar.

But for now I’ll be back at SCA.

To find the right way.

We’re all here for a reason.

We all go different ways.

Life is a challenge but it pays.

 

And I’ll suck it up because it’s not all that bad.

Especially now that I have a dad.