Rough and Ready – By @gnomeegnome
Rough and Ready
This was never meant to be.
A summer of missed opportunity.
Full of firsts and lasts.
A flick of the switch. Hit restart.
I had placements. People. A portfolio.
But I wasn’t ready and set to go.
When I should have been flying, I was falling.
With nothing but demons calling.
I hit rock bottom.
But I didn’t see a problem.
It was my life, how I wanted to live it.
More drugs. I had no limit.
I’d score with precision.
To keep the truth out of vision.
When others stopped, I started again.
Charlie became my best friend.
He was my blanket. He kept me warm.
He was my only norm.
I had to ask a question.
I had to get help.
Continue and die,
or stop and retry?
The answer is simple now in my mind.
I want a positive future.
To be a role model for my kind.
I became the expected. That care leaver.
The addict. Angry. Underachiever.
One is too many and a thousand never enough.
There’s wrong which is easy.
Then there’s right but fucking tough.
I’m not a selfish person, but I kinda have to be.
I need to come first in my recovery.
So for this next bit, I don’t care what anyone thinks.
We are human and all our shit stinks.
I moved in with Marc.
Got clean, basically a fresh start.
I’ve been given something I’ve not really had before.
A family, love, people that want me to soar.
But for now I’ll be back at SCA.
To find the right way.
We’re all here for a reason.
We all go different ways.
Life is a challenge but it pays.
And I’ll suck it up because it’s not all that bad.
Especially now that I have a dad.