By Alfie Souter

 

Should I stay or should I go?

 

Sitting on the carpet. Mix up from the bed. Don’t work on the bed, it’s bad for your sleep. I have a dilemma. Self isolation is fast approaching, sort off Boris hasn’t been quite clear on that. But that hasn’t stopped people panicking, it hasn’t stopped my family bailing from London like a sinking ship. 

 

I drove up to meet them, with my PS4 in tow. I was coming back soon I thought. Soon. I think I was still hungover driving to be honest, 2L of Red bull later I was in Kent. Was sort of normal I guess, I unpacked the car of what I could bring from the hoards of food my Dad had bought and then left behind in London. I thought that was strange anyway, especially since he didn’t ask me to bring it up. The answer to these questions appeared in the form of a Tesco truck. I was too embarrassed to meet the driver. I tried to hide some of the toilet roll in the corner.

 

I went into my favourite room in the house luckily it was free. I unpacked my stuff going into 3 month prep mode. I suggested going home next week to go to SCA. My parents did not want to indulge the notion. I thought again about my plan to simply put the things I needed for SCA in the car and bomb it down the motorway before anyone was any the wiser. It was late though so I decided to sleep and save the schemes for later. 

 

I woke up sort of late 11ish and flicked through the news. 

 

When would they shut SCA, when would the roads close? When did the roads close in Italy? Are people allowed to move around the country? No. But roads don’t close overnight do they?

 

Phone rings. I hope you’re not thinking about coming back to London. Huh? I can’t have you bombing back up and down the motorway you will infect my parents. 

 

Call Harry. Nah I don’t think they are gonna ask anyone to self isolate. Huh? What do you mean mate haven’t you been looking at the news, haven’t people been talking about it with you? Yeah they have tried I just tune out, with my mum I just put my headphones in. Oh well bro they are gonna isolate everyone sooner or later. Fuck. Maybe I should get a book?

 

Text James. Your sane mate what should I do? 

 

Well the roads won’t close over night you will be able to get back from London 100%. 

 

Listen to the Italians stay in Kent. 

 

You have in house mentors here. 

 

If you’re already there I would advise staying down there. 

 

If it was me I would come to London I couldn’t bare to be with my family. 

 

I think you should do whatever makes you feel better.

 

Fuck. 

 

Fuckety fuck. I guess I am ignoring how lucky I am. How lucky I am to have a family to be with, that I can go somewhere where I can go for walks on the beach, that I have food in the cupboard, that I have friends I can call up. But I can deal with it of course I can. Just a part of me thinks if I miss out on that extra week at SCA I will regret it. Even if I can’t help, I want to work with my partners make sure we get a pencil. 

 

What’s right for me is wrong for my family. That’s what it ultimately boils down to. I can choose me or I can choose them. When was the last time I did something for someone else at the detriment to myself? I really don’t know honestly. It’s easy to give when you lose nothing. Maybe sometimes you have to lose? I don’t know really. I guess I’m going to stay here. Maybe I’m not the person I thought I was, for the better or for worse.