Slow Boys Finish Last

One of the things I’ve been finding difficult at this mad veird school is to not overthink my thinking. I was always a slow boy who did his work slowly – I needed a minimum of 25% extra time in all my exams lest the invigilator molest my ears with his ‘time’s up, finish your sentence’ quip of despair. 

Slowness is not something afforded the time of day here at ye olde SC of A. Speed and abundance of thought are a prerequisite and I’m sick of it, people. I’m talking about a slow boy, here. A boy born of slowness. A 27 year-old boy who could hardly be called a man for he has yet to catch up with his age. Because of slowness.

This school reminds me of the insane tuk tuk drivers of India. Ask one of the many fine Indian tuk tuk chauffeurs to do away with either the brakes or the horn for his vehicle, and 100% of the time every time he would choose to keep the horn. They don’t stop or reverse. They merely announce, loudly and prophetically, they are coming and shall not slow down for anything.

“Children, be playful, stop evaluating your thoughts, let the river of salience flow like a wet dream as God intended.” – Jesus, John 3:16. One of the many famous quotes you’ll find in the Bible. Well, I’m sorry, Jesus, you’re thorn in my crown. I like mulling things over. I like talking about ideas I plan to conceive before I’ve conceived them. I like waiting for the Guinness to be poured – it gives me more time to think about thinking. 

I am impressed by the sacks of ideas some folks are able to pull out on a dime. I find that hard. Maybe it’s this Term 2 upping of the ante that’s got my brain fogging up because I’m being forced to take on so much in so little time. 

I get the whole ‘don’t think just do’ mentality that gets you through a heavy workload but I would love to have some extra time on all of these briefs. Maybe I could negotiate with Marc? Too late, the year’s already passed and I’m no longer at the school. 

Let’s slow it down, yeah? How about some slow jams in the morning for town hall. Some scented candles and a group bubble bath whilst we go through the WIP. We’re Honey. Honey’s sweet because it’s slow, baby. Get some of that slow goodness for breakfast. 

“And on the seventh day he rested, pondering to himself how he could’ve made everything on the first day, but nay, he thought, ‘tis better to spread my load about over several days instead.” – Genesis 1:01. 


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