By Drew Davies

The Best Excuses In The World

“I’m a creative.”*

It’s one of the very best excuses to do almost anything,

right up there with “don’t worry I’m an art student” or the very pinnacle “I am, infact, an artist.”**

It may well be the best perk of the job, closely

followed by actually being creative.

Get creative using the excuse of being creative –

but incase you’re in search of some inspiration here’s lovely little list to start you off.

Saying the magic words “I’m a creative” is a valid

excuse to:

• Wear tracksuits into work
• Watch people
• Follow people
• Talk to people
• Watch people kissing each other
• Watch people kissing each other whilst writing in a notebook
• Watch Frozen
• Watch Frozen with a child and watch them watching Frozen
• Watch more TV
• Order Indian takeaways from every borough in London
• Call a hotline
• Wear different coloured socks
• Tell people you’re better than them
• Send a picture to your teacher of you doing substances off your partner’s
• privates  to be displayed in front of potential employers at a party
• Drink a toffee (tea & coffee)
• Disagree with popular views
• Rollerblade
• Walk without a purpose, for not all that wander are lost
• Do mind expanding drugs
• Gatecrash a party
• Find out of many potatoes you would need to line up, side by side, to
• bridge the gap between our planet and the moon
• Have one drink at the pub before taking a brisk walk home
• Just sit on a bench
• Play the number 10 position with the vision of the magician – Philippe
• Coutinho
• Hand in your scab a day late?

*Disclaimer: 100% guaranteed effectiveness, however,

you will sound like an absolute dick.

**Research suggests that this may well be the most effective marriage of words in the English language or any of them other

languages.