The Jellyfish

Today’s I am a fairy godmother. In training, anyway. Yep that’s right, I’m going to muster up all of the magic I have in me and turn this cinder I discovered last week into something a bit more lit (the joke was right there). And who, or what, might my Cinderelly be? Last week Caroline ran an exercise in her masterclass where we connected two opposed things in a one-sentence story. I’m about to makeover that sentence into a piece of fiction worthy of attending any ball. Or maybe just your local pub. I don’t know, you lot can be the judge of that.

xxx

I am not a bad jellyfish. Top notch, I will have you know. You are invited to look at my full body of work if you perhaps doubt me. Peer inside my portfolio, cast a glance at my curriculum vitae. You will not struggle to find a human that sparks your interest. The tall, the short, the bald, the haired. The ones that like to make yellow in my workplace. I have had enough praise on my work with those to give Alabama a Sunday off. But this is not enough.

They’re. Too. Easy. They flop about with barrages of plastic wrapped around them as if their two legs were not obnoxious enough. In another bout of stupidity, they then elect to swim in one direction. Oh, I wonder where they’re going nex – straight. They will always head straight. My colleagues, all inferior to me, often discuss whether enjoy being stung. Whether this reminder of their deficiencies as a species inspires them to innovate. To manufacture more plastic, more pollution, more problems in order to grant them something to solve. So that when they do, they might feel as smart as we are. But I am not providing a service here. There are only so many times you can sting out of pity before you just start to feel dirty. I am not there yet but alas I fear that is what it is heading towards.

Then it struck me. Why only strike the two legged, when there are beasts with four? Oh, this discovery was a beautiful thing! I basked in the ecstasy of my own genius with this one. The reason being that aside from the challenge these wonderful mammals pose, the two-legged seem rather attached to their four-legged friends. Twofold it would be a sting to humans! Never yet has a jellyfish made an emotional attack. Am not I the clever fish? The answer is no because we are not fish, we are invertebrates, yet another demonstration of Homo sapiens’ idiocy.

To do what has not yet been done is no easy feat. It will take preparation, practice, finesse. I am undoubtedly the jellyfish for the role, but to execute this perfectly will require my full concentration. This dialogue has therefore become a distraction. You will not like me when I am distracted. Goodbye for now, until the next time we cross waters.