This week’s gospel – By @josieaefinlay
By Josie Finlay
This week’s gospel
I’d love to do a nice post about how I’m feeling now D&AD is over and all the things I learned from it. But unfortunately I can’t talk about D&AD because I’ve reached my 2019 quota of talking about D&AD. If I talk about it for one minute more I’m going to forget about anything that exists outside D&AD. My friends from outside SCA either think I’m dead or don’t speak to me any more, because these days my only ‘interesting’ stories are stuff like ‘how hot my laptop gets when it’s running all 4 Adobe programs’ or ‘how fast Heinz ketchup moves’. (0.028mph if you care!) So these are some things I’ve learned NOT from D&AD in the past week or two.
Celery is SCARY
I just went to see the play Berberian Sound Studio, about a Foley artist (sound designer) working on a trashy Italian horror in the 1970s. There were loads of fruity props used to make gory sounds. Everyone knows that chopping watermelon sounds like a head being chopped off, but did you know that:
- Duct tape being pulled = a heartbeat
- A metal jug on top of a spinning top = a sci-fi sort of UFO sound
- Carrots being cut with scissors = fingers being chopped off
- Twisting celery = breaking bones
- A curtain being ripped off a curtain rail = a curtain being ripped off a curtain rail
If you’re not a dog person, people think there’s something wrong with you
Don’t get me wrong, I really like the idea of dogs. I would definitely consider having one when I’m old and alone. And they are without a doubt better than cats. But I really can’t be bothered to talk to them or engage with them too much. They don’t give much back (fight me) so sometimes I just find it a bit awkward. It’s like with babies – no idea how to talk to them either. Usually I just say ‘oh hello, how are you?’ in quite a formal way like I’m talking to my mum’s friend at a Christmas party or something. But people find this behaviour around dogs really absurd. I went to Maddy’s house last night and she has FOUR of them. People seemed to think I was some kind of psychopath because I didn’t snog them every time they came up to me. Well, I’m not a psychopath! So get over it.
Consider chestnut cream
Think you know your dream dessert? Think again. It could be made even more perfect with the addition of chestnut cream. This one is really good and I love the fact it comes in a tin – quite unexpected packaging, I think. Dip your apple in it, put it with the cream in your swiss roll, mix it into melting ice cream, stick a layer of it in any cake and I guarantee you your fave puddin’ will reach another LEVEL.
Dorothea Tanning – cool !
Really recommend the Tate Modern exhibition of this surrealist painter. Full of furry stuffed buttocks, dogs with sad baby faces and intimidating sunflowers, it’s a really jarring but delicious treat.
That concludes today’s lesson, office hours are now closed, thanks!
The copy scores 78.7 in the Flesch Reading Ease test