By Phillip Laskaris

Time to water the plants

When you leave your hometown, you leave behind a lot of people. There are those that you want to leave behind or you just won’t make an effort with. A bad boss, an old girlfriend/boyfriend, a neighbor who you don’t like. It’s like being on Seinfeld. He had all those terrible relationships with people and just as it went to shit the episode ended and he never had to deal with them again. I loved that I could hope on a plane and start this new life without any of those people to worry about. Not that I have a lot of enemies, but it was still enticing. However, you can’t have the good without the bad.

Leaving Brooklyn left a lot of my best relationships hanging. We can all see that relationships are like plants, they can be left alone, but they also need water. Unfortunately, I’ve treated mine like they were cacti. Some of them are that strong. Some can be left to their own devices and after months on end I’ll come back and they’re blossoming like nothing ever happened. They’re not all like that though and I’ve started to see it. This is all rather sappy, but the last thing I want is people that I’ve share memories with, good memories, fade away. Relinquishing any chance that we could share future memories. 

Also, if I’m being honest, relationships are useful. Not like a therapist useful, but like a wrench useful. My father taught that you shouldn’t have someone in your life if they can’t do anything for you. I don’t agree with that completely, but I see his point. If I’m in Chicago for a few days, I got a friend I can call. If I need help filming something, I got a crew for that. If I need a freaking pilot, I could probably call in a favour. It’s important to keep in touch with people so when that favour is needed, it’s not superficial. 

Over break I decided to water some plants. Let the people I left know that I’m not as far as it seems. A few just needed a text.

 “Hey man! Long time no chat. What’s going on your end of the pond?” 

Some light banter so they don’t forget my name. The holiday season is the perfect time to do this. They respond with a couple texts, we go back and forth for a few days and then it tapers off. Mission complete. 

Others required a call. Those friends that I may have been closer with at one point, but the distance has taken its toll. A surprise call on New Years or the day after Christmas did the trick. Everyone might not love getting a call out of the blue, but I do believe that everyone understands what it signifies. If I call you and you’re not up to the conversation, that’s okay. At least they see that I’ve tried, I’ve made the effort and that’s all I really need. 

It would be a big regret for my year if I had let these relationships fall by the wayside. Who knows when I may need them and if they ever need me, I want them to know they can call me. I compared them to plants, and they are. But I wouldn’t say I’m a gardener. If I needed a metaphor for my relationship and outlook, I’m more like herpes. In a positive way. Occasionally I’ll pop up. I’m harmless really and I’m with you for life.  

Here’s to hoping none of the people I’ve spoken to will read this! Happy New Year!