What, how you refer to Covid-19, says about you! – By @AlexRob38667713
What, how you refer to Covid-19, says about you!
If you hadn’t noticed, theres a virus going round at the minute. The strange thing is, there are many different names for it. In this article, I’m going to break down each one of these names, and what using them says about your personality!
What is this… early 2020? Corona Virus is the name of the family of viruses to which Covid-19 belongs. This may have been acceptable last year when everyone was doing it. But come on. The world has moved on. If you still call it “Corona Virus” you are likely perpetually slow on the uptake- the last to get the joke, the last to try giving The Crown a watch and the last to get laid in school.
The Corona Virus
The addition of “The” before “Corona Virus” suggests not only that you are slow on the uptake, but also that you are pompous and given to grand, hyperbolic statements such as “Elon Musk is a certified genius, and his life should be followed by anyone serious about their career”. You’re also probably the type of person who calls Ukraine, “The Ukraine”. Technically speaking, of course, this is correct, but it’s unnecessary and makes you seem weird.
If you call the virus “Covid-19” you’re a pretty bog standard, go-with-the-flow type person. You’re unlikely to do anything exceptional with your life and will probably just be one of the many people who have lived and died on this planet. Just your average Joe/Josephine really.
Dropped the 19. You are one snappy cookie. You don’t fuck about. Probably walk across the road even if the man is red. Mad cred.
The China Virus
You live in America, wear red hats and voted for a big fat man with an orange face.
See “The China virus”, but you are slightly wealthier and potentially (and worryingly) may have a college degree. You also likely live in Vermont, or some other provincial state.
You are the worst. Calling the global pandemic by a name other than some horrendous colloquialism just wasn’t enough for you. You felt the need to try and “stand out” and in doing so, look (and sound) like a wanker. You probably wear camo trousers to Bicep gigs you’ve spent £20 to go to, and have no genuine interest in.
Grammar Nazi alert! Doubtless you are the type of person who organises their napkins and forces dinner party guests to sit in specific places around the table. Also has an appreciation for science that borders on the sycophantic.
If you call Covid-19 “Coco” then the jig is up. I literally just made it up right now to try and catch people out that aren’t comfortable with being associated with any of the names on this list, and who may have seen it as their saving grace.
Basically just the Flu
Oh, go back to you trailer and put a colander on your head, you 5G-avoiding, flat-earth believing troglodyte.