You always hate everything you write – By @ZSlatter

By Zoe Slatter


You always hate everything you write

So it’s 4.30am, I’m lying upside down on a hostel make-shift sofa, with my hair nearly touching this slightly sticky floor. No, this isn’t after a wild night drinking ‘on the town’ as an elder may call it; it’s after another ‘wild’ 12-hour overnight bus journey and yet again arriving ridiculously early into a new hostel. Not the glamorous side of ‘travelling’ you see splattered all over social media.

After a 12 hour bus journey from Hi Chi Minh City Vietnam to Nha Trang you thought I’d be sleeping like my fellow friends over here. But instead I thought this was a perfect time to write a SCAB – No distractions (or ‘hello lady, you buy?’) being ushered at me 24/7.

So lounging around I was re-reading my previous scabs, when my friend whispered, ‘you always hate everything you write don’t you?’ as she wrote a post card to her boyfriend. At this point, I couldn’t agree more, as my face was cringing all over re-reading my previous SCABs. I mean, they weren’t awful, the realisations and decisions; but just not a thrilling read for you all, topped of by a doggy bullet pointed to do list, so I apologise for that.

So this time I thought I’d write about something far more interesting, not about me, no to-do list but about the interesting people of Cambodia and Vietnam.

Some of you may already know about or have been to the Killing Fields and S21 museum in Cambodia. But before I went, I had no idea. I had no idea about anything. I felt a sense of ignorance and embarrassment towards the way I live as I learnt about the horrific events that went on. I began to reflect on the absorption into my own world. How had I not known any of this? Then my thoughts began to spiral. Perhaps this is being reflected in places we don’t know about today and we’re so absorbed in our bubbles? But as our world gets more and more corrupt with events un-imaginable happening; to Barcelona, Paris and London for example. The horrific events that happened in Cambodia during the late 90s make the setting of what happened there so much more relatable.

I’m not going to write about what happened in Cambodia at that time, for that is googles forte. However, I will write about how positivity is such an important thing. Ive gone travelling to see things, speak to people and do things I wouldn’t normally do; just like every 18-30 year old traveler goes for, so by no means do I think I’m different. But Ive realised something perhaps everyone else already knows, or here anyway. That positively can get you a long way. Some people have more than others, fact. But their positive mind set doesn’t tell them that. Locals ask about England, and in conversation we reply with ‘would you like to go?’ The same response is usually uttered ‘can’t get visa’, but they shrug it off and tell us about there family and all the great things of their country. The example probably isn’t great, but I think you get what I’m trying to say.

This scab has about 12 different drafts in my mail box as I saw something cool and began to write about it each day, or perhaps it’s because I’m a perfectionist always wanting to better my last. Therefore I thought positivity summed each one up. Hopefully I won’t cringe over this one once I send it, as much as I will cringe over my passion project and edited video.

So I’m not going to end this one with a to do list, but a positive ending that I’m still making the best out of every situation and starting a new course that I can’t wait to get going.

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