2020 made me cynical… or worse

2020 was a year of surprises. 

I genuinely didn’t think that Covid-19 would happen. I know, call me stupid, but I didn’t. Not for a second. If you had asked me in late 2019 how I felt about the upcoming global pandemic I would have replied “What pandemic? There’s no pandemic.” Like the damn fool I was back then. If you’d gone on to ask me my thoughts on the world’s response to Covid-19. I would have said “Covid? 19? Are you high?” But it would not have been them that would have been high. More likely it would have been me. And the drug that I would have been high on? Hubris. I would have taken a big fat rip of that sweet, sweet Hubris. Like a damn, conceited fool, with a Hubris-addled brain. 

So when it did hit Wuhan back in January, I must admit, I was a little taken aback. 

Covid-19… thought I…. What in the Sweet Jesus Cakes is Covid-19? Actually, I wouldn’t have said that, because that was back when everyone just called it Corona Virus. Do you remember that? That weird month or so when everyone was calling it Corona Virus, and then a few people started cropping up and calling it Covid-19, and everyone else was like, “What you think you’re better than me because you call it Covid-19?”, and the other people were like “Well that’s the name of the species, Corona Virus is just the family name”, and then everyone else was like “Oh shut up youre so annoying.” But over time, the number of people staunchly calling it Corona Virus dwindled, and the Covid-19ers gradually took over. Nowadays of course, it’s the reverse! Very rare indeed to hear people referring to the virus as “Corona virus”. Anyway, I digress.

I was very surprised indeed when Covid-19 hit! But 2020 turned out to be yet more surprising still. We went into lockdown. Another turn of events that I did not predict. I childishly thought that this country was simple too organised to require a national lockdown. How wrong did I turn out to be! But that still wasn’t the end of it. 

The lockdown did not go on for a month, as I expected it to, it went on for three. 

A month later, we had to start wearing face masks, what a curveball. 

When the pubs did reopen, they had to close at 10.

There was another national lockdown. 

And so on and so on and so on. 

However, this most recent national lockdown? I predicted! A week ago, when Boris announced Tier 3 in my home county of Dorset, something sparked in my brain, and I thought to myself. Theres another national lockdown coming. And whaddayouknow? Here it is. 

This can mean one of two things. Either A. I am an incredibly slow learner. Or B. I am essentially an optimistic fellow, whose optimism has finally been ground down by the relentless shit show otherwise known as 2020. Neither seem particularly great do they… But they’re the only two options.