A warning.

Slurp slurp lick lick chomp chom nom nom.”Oi! What the fuck do you think your doing?!”Slurp slurp skuttle skuttle hiss hiss!

“What’s the matter now Jake?”

“That gnome’s eating my fucking pizza again! I left it outside on the table for 5 fucking seconds and he’s just slurped it up again.”

“Well maybe that’s because you’ve stopped feeding him” Alison moaned. “Look, Alison. I’ve told you already. He sexually assaulted me.” “Jake!” “Don’t be ridiculous, you said it was just a dream. Besides, he’s basically a block of cement how could he even, you know…””Because the morning after, I came down and…” Jake stares out the window pain his vision cold, hands fluttering.”What?” Alison touches Jake’s back.”He gave me this look.” 

Window smash!

“Oh no! It’s happening again! Alison! Call the police! There’s more of them”
The gang of gnomes smash through the french windows, hobbling with pace.

“Please! What is this?!” Alison screams as one gnome holds her head over the toaster.

The main gnome with picks up a pepperoni pizza slice and glides it softly over Jake’s cheek. The others edge closer.

“Alison!!! I love you so much babe, oh no oh no”

The other gnomes look down over Jake’s now extremely greasy cheek and pull down their zippers. 

“Oh God it’s happening”

As the yellow steam rises both Jake and Alison pass out…

To be continued.