Badvent calendar 3
By Oscar Frost
Back by popular demand. Another 26 terrible SMPs.
Through the process of elimination, we will eventually have 26 SMPs that work.
Until then, this is the badvent calendar 3.
A – Amazon
We put the Amazon in Amazong.
B – BMW
Cars that take you places and back.
C – Cisco
Safer than a really safe safe.
D – Dropbox
No boxes were harmed in the naming of this company.
E – Etsy
We have everything you don’t need.
F – FedEx
Fed up with your ex? FedEx your ex a fed!
G – Goldman Sachs
We look good doing things you don’t understand.
H – Harley Davidson
You can’t buy cool, but you can buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle, which will make you look cool to everyone else who owns a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
I – Intel
The second most successful chip manufacturer after McDonald’s.
J – Johnson & Johnson
There was a third Johnson, but Johnson & Johnson & Johnson sounded wrongson.
K – Kraft Heinz
It doesn’t have to be Heinz, but if it’s beans in a tin, there’s a decent probability it’s Heinz, because Heinz is the most popular brand of tinned beans.
L – LinkedIn
LinkedIn, LinkedOut, LinkedIn, LinkedOut, LinkedShake it all about.
M – Mastercard
Money for people who don’t have a big enough wad to flaunt.
N – Netflix
Official sponsors of watching Netflix.
O – Oreo
One layer of cream surrounded by two biscuits surrounded by your mouth surrounded by your chubby face surrounded by a train carriage full of people watching you eat an entire sleeve of Oreos without any milk.
P – PayPal
Pay your pals and also your enemies any amount that you have in your account.
Q – Quicksilver
Mercury is a chemical element with the symbol Hg and atomic number 80. It is also known as quicksilver and was formerly named hydrargyrum (/haɪˈdrɑːrdʒərəm/ hy-DRAR-jər-əm) from the Greek words hydor (water) and argyros (silver).A heavy, silvery d-block element, mercury is the only metallic element that is known to be liquid at standard temperature and pressure; the only other element that is liquid under these conditions is the halogen bromine, though metals such as caesium, gallium, and rubidium melt just above room temperature.
They also sell dope ass board shorts.
R – Red Bull
Energy in drink in a can.
S – Starbucks
Writing names on coffees since Clair from the marketing department decided we should write names on coffees.
T – Tesla
Faster than a speeding car that’s driving slower than a speeding Tesla.
U – Uber
Uberfascht!
V – Vans
No mate. You’re after vans. They’re next door.
V (2) – Volkswagen
No mate. You’re after Vans. They’re next door.
W – Wagenvolks
Mate no. You’re after door. They’re next vans.
X – (shrug)
Y – Yamaha
Bikes and guitars for some reason.
Z – Zippo
Zippedy zippedy zip zip zip.
Thanks!
Oscar
