Badvent calendar 3

Back by popular demand. Another 26 terrible SMPs.

Through the process of elimination, we will eventually have 26 SMPs that work.

Until then, this is the badvent calendar 3.

A – Amazon

We put the Amazon in Amazong.


Cars that take you places and back.

C – Cisco

Safer than a really safe safe.

D – Dropbox

No boxes were harmed in the naming of this company.

E – Etsy

We have everything you don’t need.

F – FedEx

Fed up with your ex? FedEx your ex a fed!

G – Goldman Sachs

We look good doing things you don’t understand.

H – Harley Davidson

You can’t buy cool, but you can buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle, which will make you look cool to everyone else who owns a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

I – Intel

The second most successful chip manufacturer after McDonald’s.

J – Johnson & Johnson

There was a third Johnson, but Johnson & Johnson & Johnson sounded wrongson.

K – Kraft Heinz

It doesn’t have to be Heinz, but if it’s beans in a tin, there’s a decent probability it’s Heinz, because Heinz is the most popular brand of tinned beans.

L – LinkedIn

LinkedIn, LinkedOut, LinkedIn, LinkedOut, LinkedShake it all about.

M – Mastercard

Money for people who don’t have a big enough wad to flaunt.

N – Netflix

Official sponsors of watching Netflix.

O – Oreo

One layer of cream surrounded by two biscuits surrounded by your mouth surrounded by your chubby face surrounded by a train carriage full of people watching you eat an entire sleeve of Oreos without any milk.

P – PayPal

Pay your pals and also your enemies any amount that you have in your account.

Q – Quicksilver

Mercury is a chemical element with the symbol Hg and atomic number 80. It is also known as quicksilver and was formerly named hydrargyrum (/haɪˈdrɑːrdʒərəm/ hy-DRAR-jər-əm) from the Greek words hydor (water) and argyros (silver).A heavy, silvery d-block element, mercury is the only metallic element that is known to be liquid at standard temperature and pressure; the only other element that is liquid under these conditions is the halogen bromine, though metals such as caesium, gallium, and rubidium melt just above room temperature.

They also sell dope ass board shorts.

R – Red Bull

Energy in drink in a can.

S – Starbucks

Writing names on coffees since Clair from the marketing department decided we should write names on coffees.

T – Tesla

Faster than a speeding car that’s driving slower than a speeding Tesla.

U – Uber


V – Vans

No mate. You’re after vans. They’re next door.

V (2) – Volkswagen

No mate. You’re after Vans. They’re next door.

W – Wagenvolks

Mate no. You’re after door. They’re next vans.

X – (shrug)

Y – Yamaha

Bikes and guitars for some reason.

Z – Zippo

Zippedy zippedy zip zip zip.




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