The best SCAB ever written, by @a__pugh


By Alex Pugh

This is to be the Citizen Kane of SCABs, the Revolver, the Like a Rolling Stone. Better than any SCAB I have written myself, better than any SCAB written by anyone at SCA, past, present and future.

How do I know this? Well, I don’t. Best is subjective. There are dozens of best song lists, with much consensus, yet lots of variation also. Perhaps best is an average. You hit the top notes enough times your batting average increases. You become the best by virtue of your consistency.

I am very inconsistent. Deadlines are missed, or at least stretched. This very SCAB you are reading is one such example. Now I’m on a race against time to write the best SCAB in the world ever or some of my best work won’t be submitted to D&AD New Blood. D’oh! Not only will I suffer, my partner in crime, Michael, will have shed blood, sweat and tears for no reason. All because I dun goofed.

Gotta be more consistent. Gotta be more reliable. I think I have an emotional aversion to organisation. Everything from procrastination to our political leanings undermines the notion that we are rational beings. We are steered by our emotions. Our brains are reptile brains at their core, with a Stone Ager’s brain forming the outer gooey periphery. Good advertising speaks the language of feelings. Touchy feely.

Organisation scares me. One has to face their fears. Man up. Look, exactly 250 words. Perfect!

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