Tough love from Yoda

Yoda talked to me last night. No, the baby version, the old, wise one. He came to me and said:

“Here are the 10 commandments you must follow to rock at the SCA.”

“Shut up. You’re not Yoda. You don’t even speak like him.”

“Shut up and listen!”

“No you shut up.”

“No you”

“No you”

Anyway, after 10 mins of an intense fight with only 2 words, I finally agreed to listen to him. And here’s what he said:

1. Sleep you’ll sleep

5h per night, you’ll avoid. 5h per night makes you grumpy and look like uncle putrid in Family Adams, with hair from the 80s. Which is traumatic for you when you look at yourself in a mirror. You want to eat more than usual, and this is why you end up at the cookie shop, hoping to finally have a discount THAT YOU’LL NEVER HAVE. You cry for a yes or a no. At least you’re consistent!

Now, put that in your mind: 7 hours is the minimum, 8 hours is your goal.

2. Friends, you won’t see anymore

FRIENDS are not your friends. It’s just fiction, the comforting sitcom that reminds you of your family. But if you know how they’ll react if the characters were real, you know it too much! Get out of this show! Try British shows instead. They are irrelevant and full of slang. You’ll shine at the SCA if the French person you are using more English slang. People will appreciate you getting into the British culture more, and you’ll like flirting with some UK references instead of: “How you’re doing?”

3. Good food you’ll eat, bad food you’ll spit

Like I always say, the tenth tentative is the charm. It costs you too much to eat unhealthily. Your stomach starts to speak a weird language made of growls, you don’t have any energy to use the tube’s stairs, even your body says:” STOP IT”. It’s time to learn how to cook properly or know how to do 100 iterations of pasta.

4. Craft, craft, craft, craft (because funny it is to make the person reading say this word in its head)

Craft will lead you to be better at craft. Dah. 

5. Chillout without drug dude

Coffee isn’t your best mate. Forgot it, you haven’t been so stressed since you started it. You also float a few minutes after drinking it because you can’t handle caféine, so stop trying to be addicted.

You also need to breathe more. Nothing will come out of your brain if you don’t have air… besides suffocating. So start practicing respiration exercises before going to bed.

6. Boring stuff, you should stop doing

Your comfort zone, you should get the fuck at. You can be comfy in France, but it is the opportunity to grow a little more in England.

Try British brands you don’t know, go to pubs to socialize, go to weird conferences like demonology class you took earlier, places you only know the name of, you’ve already done that in the past!

7. your family, isn’t your booty call 

Your family is your rock, your daily sparkles. Calling them every day is your priority. They aren’t people you call when you have nothing else to do, like your booty call! Remember how you got here. They’re your steady point, allowing you to not lose yourself.

8. Take more time for yourself, you must

Prioritizing you, you should start. You didn’t nourish your playful child enough. You lost her. But it doesn’t mean she isn’t somewhere waiting for you.

The more you take time for yourself, the more you’ll be able to reach her.

9. In class, you’ll speak up

Be more present in class, you should be. Every time you try to speak in front of people, you lose the little bit of English you know. So keep practicing. Otherwise, you’ll lose your tongue in front of everybody FOREVER!

10. Book crits…just book crits

Is there more to say about it? NO, SO CONTACT AN AGENCY NOW.

Print it out in your head now and do it, or I’ll hunt you down in your dreams. “

So I started respecting the ten commandments of Yoda, like the religious person that I am not. Mostly because I’m afraid of the little creature hunting me down. For now, non-eating sugar and non-drinking coffee make me more tired and energiless (yes I just invented this word). But I’ll keep going.

My last scab at the SCA will be a debrief of what those goals have brought me.

See yah.


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