Following my enjoyment in doing Airport Observations as a previous SCAB, this weekend I decided to do Tube Observations. And these weren’t just any tube observations, these were tube observations from 3:30am on a Saturday night. 

The man in the extremely slim fitting (read: skintight) white tuxedo, complete with white patent leather shoes and a red rose in hand. Where are you going and can I come with you? 

The two guys who wolf whistled at me and my friend as the doors were closing. I just have one question. Does that move actually ever work for you? Genuine question. Has there ever been a moment when someone asks a couple how they met and they were like “he sexually harassed me on public transport, it was so romantic.” 

The girl with the pink hair sitting across from us smiling down at her phone. Booty call or meme? The age old question. 

The drunk guy outside Tooting Broadway station who offered us a chip. We declined (regretfully because they actually looked really good) 

The group of rowdy 30 year olds who started a dance party with a bluetooth speaker. I speak for everyone when I say we all appreciated listening Abba at 3am. That’s how I’d live my life everyday if I could. 

The little kid wearing the gruffalo raincoat passed out in the corner with a face full of Doritos cheese dust. Honestly, a mood. 

The guy playing the drums with milk cartoons. Can someone get this guy to come into SCA’s interview day? I think Marc would appreciate his creativity. 

The two American girls arguing over the pronunciation of Leicester Square. Spoiler alert- they butchered it. Lie-chess-ter Le-cess-tee Luckily they got the “square” bit right though. I mean, in their defence, parts of the English language are completely insane. Leicester, Birmingham, Worcestershire, 

The guy with the Santa beard who called me a bitch and shoved past me. Someone’s on the naughty list. 

And these next few aren’t tube observations, but thought they definitely needed to be included. 

The woman who approached me in the queue for the toilets in McDonalds and gave me a massive stack of tissues because there wasn’t any toilet paper left. Girls supporting girls. Almost 

The guy who got so angry that McDonalds had run out of apple pies that he jumped the counter and tried to attack the cashier.