SCABs

What your favourite potato says about you as a creative

Over the last 3 weeks, Checkout have been rather preoccupied with those pesky awards. You know the ones. As they are likely to have dominated all recent SCABs, I thought I’d head in another direction entirely. Because without the ability to think divergently, where would we be? That’s right, Love Island. And I’d rather be stranded up Covid creek without a face mask. So this SCAB is about potatoes, as suggested by Florrie. Specifically, about what your favourite potato says about the kind of creative you are. 

Roast

Traditional, old-fashioned, very English. If you love roasties, you’re clearly a copywriter. You pine for the days of long copy, suits in the office, in-your-face product advertising. Well guess what? Jingles are insufferable and so was the sweeping chauvinism of the 60s. Get your head into the 21st century Grandpa and get yourself on TikTok.

Thick cut chips

The golden boy of the pomme de terre world. Everybody loves them. As enticing as a sensual whisper from an adolescent crush, if only the latter was available at gastro pubs up and down Britain. You’re a genuine all-rounder, you probably have great ideas and execute them with the precision of a freshly sharpened guillotine. You dick.

Fries

Ooh look at you with your modern, American chips, being all quirky. Bet you’re an Art Director but you like saying ‘I do a bit of both’. Copy isn’t just saying ‘what about adding a headline?’ you sanctimonious know-it-all, it’s a craft too. Take your salty snack and paint the Mona Bloody Lisa in ketchup all over it you gallery-loving liar.

Mash

If any potato epitomises the creative process, it’s mash. Put yourself through the pain of peeling, bring to a rolling boil and lovingly salt, take them out and drain them then JUST BLOODY SMASH THEM UP, OBLITERATE THEM, SEE THOSE SPUDS SQUISHED TO SMITHEREENS BEFORE YOU VERY EYES AND YOU’RE THE ONE DOING IT. Best served with lashings of butter to mask the bitter taste of your pain.

Crisps

You’re an account exec. Get out of here.

And all this talk of potatoes brings us nicely on to the Chip Shop awards. The fun never stops. 

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