Who Is Me – By @XX2AD

Vlad Frolov

By Vlad Frolov


Who Is Me

Dear diary,
I have little to no idea as to what I’m doing.
The brief is This Is Me but who am I? What am I like? Am I a better judge of Me, or are other people? Who the hell do I think I am? How do I finely distill my essence into a project, and what is my favourite colour, dammit?
Are other people also shitting themselves about this, or is it just Me? Are they better and funnier than myself, they are, aren’t they, of course they are, they’ve all got their shit sorted haven’t they?
What does this book mean by “know nothing”, I know far too much don’t I, fuck, what do I do? Why are there so many things on the calendar, I haven’t done things in years, what’s happening?!
Here I come panicking my way into SCA. Am I right to do this? Am I alone in this? Is this me? Am I good enough? Do I have too many questions, I do, don’t I? Doubt is healthy, of course, it aids growth, aids change, and change is constant, is necessary. But is anyone else thinking like this? Is anyone out to do something completely different from what they’ve done before, or are they sticking to their guns?
So many questions. But what do I do?
What’s the plan, Vlad?
Now breathe.
For the next few days I will be throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks, and keeping a journal of what I’ve done, what techniques worked best for me, what felt right, what didn’t. I’ll use the opportunity that this brief offers to find out what I’m about. 
So I guess this is me.
Until then,
He who wakes up in the middle of the night filled with an incredible sadness

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