The Watford Creative Test – By HUSH, The SCA Intake of 2018/19

By HUSH - The SCA Intake of 2018/19

The Watford Creative Test

SCA is good and stuff, but who knows what doors would have opened if we’d gone to the far superior Watford instead. To see if we’d have made the cut, let’s try answering the first task on the Watford Creative Test:‘Write a poem about broccoli’How the Broccolus got its I’Twas the night of the great blue bigamole moon Which serenely glid crost the great blackberry stumeAnd in the shade of the billagong treeThere dwelt a creature, big as three.’Twas great and green, one shade monotonous And slumbered smook in pure unconsciousness‘Twould have outflomped any hippopotamus And the night did christen it: The Broccolus. Now, Mercury and Jupey, Veenie and NeptuneyWere all gathered, most streemely collect In one straight line the dardark intersectAnd pointed with their foursome beams At The Broccolus one mystic sheen.Some said ’twas God Some said ney! ’twas the double-gilled codSome said ’twas blithey likely it was RobSome even said ’twas their owngrown gobs.But no patter whomstever did it, The Broccolus stirred, and then saw fit,To separate self from worldAnd a nascent awareness slow unfurled Into a stumptuous vegetable consciousness.And this is whyThe Broccolus Became a Broccoli.Andy‘Broccoli Soup’Add broccoli, and stockoli,And now season propoli,Then liberally on topoli,Please add Stilton slopoli,Consume it non-stopoli,Use bread like a mopoli,Then sit back all cockili,You just made a soup, Ollie.Lauren:They call me broccoli Kids think i’m a mockery Saphire:‘I hug treesbetween my teeth.’ lol i ain’t got time for this. - said the veganForrest: Broccoli, Watford, Suck my Coccoli Holly:There was once a stem of broccoliWho felt like his life was a mockeryOf trees and leaves,He provided the greensFor kids and adults, properly.Mary: *spotlight up*I once bought a broccoliI stabbed itPhotographed itTis my creative journey*Broccoli raised to cover face. spotlight out*Coco: broccoli. The bartering tool of kidsDan:I just ate broccoli for dinnerIt was a winnerIt’s going to make me thinnerLast week playing football I scored a shinnerYour girlfriends a twat mate, bin herI saw her playing with a fidget spinnerShe’s a bigger mess than Heinrich HimmlerCharles: Lol Vic:One day broccoli,The next white, tasteless and dry It's cauliflower RubyBroccoli, probably,Has a urology monopoly.Mockingly crotchety;A novelty, an oddity.My pee smells likeYour mans dem.Joe R - Broccoli, a haikuClogged my bloody sink, A green sea anemone, Aldi veg is shit. Karolina:Power broccoli: For and againstThomas JeffersonThe third president of the US may well have been its first broccoli enthusiast. He imported seeds from Italy to plant on his estate at Monticello in 1767.George H W BushThe elder Bush, the 41st US president, was fiercely anti-broccoli, banning it from Airforce One. “I do not like broccoli,” he said in 1990, “and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid... I’m the President of the United States, and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”Hillary Clinton and Tipper GoreThe wives of the future president and vice-president headed a “Let’s put broccoli in the White House again” campaign in 1992.Silvio BerlusconiThe former prime minister and bunga-bunga enthusiast is one of several broccoli fans in Italian politics.George W BushGave a “thumbs down” to the broccoli of President Vicente Fox during a presidential visit to Mexico in 2001.Barack & Michelle ObamaThe president said this week that broccoli is his favourite food. Earlier this year, the First Lady revealed that the Obamas are a “broccoli household”.Proudly copied.