Why I'm Quitting Stand-Up Comedy

I’ve been in the stand up game for roughly a week now and it's been tough. I wasn’t made for it. The sweating palms before I’m called to perform, the quiver in my voice as I deliver my lines like a PowerPoint presentation and the deafening silence from the audience. All these feelings, I can do without.

What are my main take-aways from this ordeal?

I’m a boring bastard and about as charismatic as a plank of wood. Of course, I disagree but it’s hard to argue with the feedback.

That being said, I’d like to thank my mentor, Keith Palmer MBE. Thank you. You’ve taught us so much over the last week (and a bit) and I am truly grateful but unfortunately this is the end of the road for my comedic career.

The whole thing has given me a new found respect for anyone who gets up on stage and captivates an audience for an hour, or even ten minutes especially when I’m struggling to fill five or even introduce myself to a group of people I already know.

So, if you’re the kind of sicko who derives pleasure from watching someone in extreme pain and embarrassment then come along to the Back Yard Comedy Club in Bethnal Green on Sunday 19th October.

It isn’t often one gets to be thoroughly humiliated in front of a host of advertising legends, and all I can say is thank God for that.

This will be my first and final performance so an audience of some kind would be much appreciated. After all, the only thing sadder than my set would be if it were performed to a poorly lit and half empty club.

On the bright side, when I do wake up from this nightmare on Monday the 20th with a crippling hangover and a Town Hall from Marc, I'll finally be able to fully focus on the main reason I came to the SCA… Advertising.

Tickets are on sale NOW so do your worst and if you see me on the night please do buy me a drink, or three, or four.

‍